Breathe
by XxMatter of NeedxX
Summary: Suze Simon couldn't be happier with her life in Carmel, with best friend Kelly, and boyfriend Paul...then one day her parents tell her they're going to St. Croix for the summer. Here she meets Jesse de Silva...and her world is changed forever.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Helloooooo everybody my coauthor, (who also goes under the alias Kaytee Jay), and I have decided it's time for us to post another story! We know our other one has yet to be finished…but this one IS finished and we've had it for quite some time, so we figured now is just as good a time as any to post it! We really hope you enjoy, of course reviews cough cough are the best way of expressing this, hehe.

**Disclaimer:** We, unfortunately, don't own mediator…or Jesse are sad, we only offer our version of the magnificent Jesse de Silva, in hopes that it will be enjoyed as much as the original, phenomenal, novels.

Chapter One

"NO! How can you expect me to leave my life for 2 months? I'M NOT GOING TO THE FREAKING VIRGIN ISLANDS WITH YOU!" I exclaim, running up into my room and slamming the door. Oh, hi I'm Suze Simon, by the way, and my mom is trying to make me go with her and Handy fucking Andy to the Virgin Islands for summer. Do they care that I have a life here in Carmel? Do they care that I have a BOYFRIEND here in Carmel? No. They just think I'll up and leave everything for 2 fucking months so that we can "be a family". No way.

They say I have no choice in the matter, but excuse me, I am NOT leaving Kelly or Debbie or Heather for two months and, oh my god, two months away from Paul would just absolutely fucking KILL ME!

To make my point PERFECTLY clear I stomp around my room for the next half an hour or so until mom comes into my room and threatens to take away all of my privileges and send me to live in Tennessee with my Aunt Barbie if I don't cut it out. Needless to say, this shuts me up pretty quickly.

As if on impulse, I reach for my phone and immediately dial Kelly's number. "Suze, talk to me," she says and I let out the loud scream that's been building inside of me.

"KELLY OH MY GOD I HATE HER!" I scream.

"What did she do now? Threaten to send you to your Aunt Barbie's again?" Kelly asks, and she sounds a little distracted, which means that her boyfriend, Tad Beaumont, must be there with her.

"Kelly, listen to me!" I exclaim, pouting. "The bitch is making me go to the Virgin Islands this summer for TWO FUCKING MONTHS!"

"Wait, WHAT?" Kelly shouts, suddenly very alert, and I hear her doing something in the background, "No, not now Tad, god just put it away! ...Sorry Suze, I'm trying to get my idiot boyfriend to put his dick away. Okay, now tell me what's going on."

I take a deep breath and tell her the whole story, how my bitch of a mother is forcing me to spend the best summer of my life bonding with my fucking family who I pretty much hate to begin with.

You see, Andy isn't my real dad, if you couldn't tell already. 5 years ago my dad died, and a year later my mom met Andy, who was in New York, where I used to live, and suddenly my mom was in love and she married him 3 months later, making me pick up my life and move to sunny Carmel, California. At first I was determined to hate it, but once I got here and started going to school, I made my 3 best friends in the world, Kelly Prescott, Debbie Mancuso, and Heather Mills.

And then, when I started high school, I met Paul Slater. As soon as we met, I was in love. Totally, completely in love. He is just about the sweetest guy in the world not to mention the HOTTEST guy at Junipero Serra Mission Academy.

This made things pretty much perfect for my group of friends, because now we all had boyfriends and I wasn't the odd one out. Kelly was dating Tad Beaumont, who went to Robert Louis Stevenson High School, Debbie was dating Brad, my stepbrother, and Heather was dating Bryce Martinson, who was almost as hot as Paul, but not quite.

"She can't do this, Suze!!!!" Kelly cries and I nod my head in agreement.

"I know! This is awful! It's supposed to be the best summer of our lives!" I reply tearfully.

"You have to run away, you can stay with me, she'll never look here!" Kelly exclaims on the verge of tears.

"I wish I could, Kel!" I exclaim when my call waiting beeps in and I check it, my heart soaring. "Kel, let me call you back," I say and, without further explanation, I switch lines.

"Hey baby," Paul says, his voice oozing sexiness. I'm sure this is unintentional on his part, but it always happens when he talks to me. I've noticed it before. He'll be talking to some of his friends, using his normal voice, and then the moment he sees me, his voice changes to that low, sexy drawl of his that I love so much.

"Hi," I sigh, a dreamy smile appearing on my face. It's like...this has been the most fucked up day ever and just talking to him can make me forget all of that. My anger towards my mother? Gone. My plans to run away to Kelly's? In on ear out the other. My plans to kill Andy with my bare hands? Well...some things aren't so easily forgotten.

"How are you?" Paul asks me and I hear a car beep, which means he's probably out driving right now.

"Better now that I'm talking to you," I tell him, that same dreamy smile still plastered on my face. He chuckles and my heart does a flip inside my chest.

"So, do you have any plans for tonight, gorgeous? I was thinking we could see a movie at the drive in...maybe get a bite to eat after?" Paul suggests and my smile turns into a frown. There is no way mom will let me after the show I put on half an hour ago.

"Something wrong, babe?" he asks and I sigh, twirling a piece of hair around my index finger. "Come on, you can tell me."

"Mom wants me to go to the Virgin Islands with them for 2 months this summer," I say, my eyes filling with tears as I say this to him. It's late May now...that means I'll only get a few more weeks with him before I have to leave for the summer. The summer before your senior year is supposed to be your best...and now it's ruined.

"Hey baby, don't cry," he says soothingly as a few of the tears roll down my cheeks. "It'll be all right." I let out a shaky sigh and wipe away the tears. "I really wish you were here, Paul," I say softly.

"I can be there in 2 minutes if you want me to be," Paul says immediately.

"But my mom...she definitely won't let me out after the scene I just caused," I reply sadly. I love the fact that he would just do that. Be here with me if I need it.

"Do you want me to come over anyways?" Paul asks and I shake my head but I realize he can't see me.

"No," I mumble. "I think I'm gonna go. Take a bubble bath...try and calm down. I'll call you later though, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, Suze," Paul says and I smile before replying that I loved him too, and hanging up.

I do just what I told Paul I'd do: take a nice, long bubble bath before curling up in bed and watching The Notebook for the millionth time. It's the one movie besides Breakfast at Tiffany's that can put me in a good mood, but I wore that one out from watching it so much.

I must fall asleep sometime during the movie, because I wake up hours later and the house is silent and it's dark outside.

I glance over at the clock and let out a sigh. Three AM. Perfect. I fumble on my nightstand to grab the phone and quickly dial Paul's number.

"Mmm, hey Suze..." Paul mumbles sleepily into the phone.

"Did I wake you up?" I whisper, sitting up in bed and hugging my knees to my chest.

"Yeah, but you know I don't mind when it's you who's waking me up," Paul says in that voice of his.

I sigh and smile like crazy. "Wanna meet me at the spot?" I ask him. "I really miss you."

"Of course. I'll be there in 10 minutes," Paul says before hanging up and I immediately go to throw on a sundress.

I quickly sneak out which I have down to a science by now. It's like second nature to me; I've done it so many times.

I hop onto my bike and quickly make my way down the hill that my house is on. Yeah, brilliant Andy had to go and pick a house on one of the highest hills in Carmel.

And even though I feel like an idiot on my bike, it's not like I can take the car because I'd wake everyone up. Luckily the place where I'm meeting Paul isn't very far.

"Hey you," I say, jumping off of my bike and running into his arms, kissing him passionately. Whenever we need to see each other, but the timing isn't right or I'm grounded, we wait until everyone's asleep and we meet here, at the beach.

He wraps his arms around me as I jump up and wrap my legs around his waist. "God, I missed you," he mumbles against my lips.

"I missed you too, and I can't believe my mom is being so selfish! Expecting me to leave you for 2 months!" I cry, pouting.

"Shhh, baby, don't think about that," he says, pulling back and looking up at me, his blue eyes gazing intensely into my green ones.

"It's hard not to," I say, sighing and kissing him softly, "I love you so much, being away from you for a weekend is hard, imagine 2 months, it will be hell."

"I'll call you everyday," he says as I detach myself from him and we sit down. "And from now until we leave, I promise to spend every minute I can with you."

"Thank you, Paul...you're really amazing, and I don't deserve you," I say, resting my head against his shoulder.

"Stop it," he says, putting his arm around me. "You're amazing and I love you. Don't ever think otherwise."

I smile and rest my head on his chest, loving that we can have moments like this without the pressure of having sex being on us.

We know that all our friends have, but I've made it clear to Paul that I'm waiting until my senior prom and he's been okay with it.

This is yet another reason why he is the love of my life. He respects me and my boundaries, and he doesn't complain and try to seduce me every possible moment like I know he could if he wanted to. I know Paul wants to have sex...he can't always hide his...excitement, but he has never once brought it up to me, not since I told him about what I wanted.

"I really don't know how I'm going to last two months without you," I mumble, looking up at him. One of the reasons I don't want to leave is...well...I trust Paul but...there are so many better looking girls in Carmel and I'm so ashamed for even thinking he would betray me.

"I am thinking the exact same thing right now Suze...I'm afraid that you'll find someone better than me who you'll fall madly in love with, and you'll forget all about boring Paul Slater in Carmel," Paul says, and I gape at him.

"Paul!" I exclaim, sitting up and looking into his eyes. "I could NEVER find someone better than you! You're the best there ever was, ever will be! And as for me falling in love with someone else, you know that will never ever happen!"

"It could...it's always a possibility, Suze," Paul says, resting his forehead against mine, "but let's not think about that now...let's just...be together."

"I want nothing more," I reply, closing the distance between our lips as I climb into his lap.

Paul wraps his arms tightly around my body and presses me close to him as he slips his tongue into my mouth and I moan out in reply.

I won't ever say this to any of my friends but I think that the love that Paul and I have is stronger than what Kelly has with Tad or Debbie with Brad. I can see us getting married someday, raising a family. I've never said anything to him about it, but I know he feels the same way. At least, I hope.

As he lays me back in the sand gently and I gaze up into his handsome face, I know that I'll never feel like this about another person ever again.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks, pulling back from the kiss and looking down at me.

"Just us," I say serenely, running my fingers through his hair.

"I think about us all the time," he says and I sigh, smiling up at him.

"I should get back before mom notices that I'm gone..." I say quietly.

"I wish you didn't have to," he replies, gently stroking my cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow in school though, right?" I say hopefully and he smiles down at me.

"Of course," he replies as we sit up. "I'll pick you up in the morning if you want."

"I'd love that," I say, sighing and slowly standing up, brushing the sand off of my clothes.

He pulls me into his arms and kisses me softly. "Good night," he whispers.

"Good night," I whisper back, leaning in for one last kiss before I jog over to my bike, blowing him a kiss as I get on and ride away.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This chapter introduces the character we've all been waiting for, the delectable Jesse de Silva, even if he's not in it much…hehehe

Disclaimer: We don't own Mediator…boo hoo

Chapter Two

"I can't believe you have to leave tomorrow!" Kelly wails as we all sit in my back yard the night before I have to leave for the Virgin Islands, particularly St. Croix. And by we, I mean Kelly, Debbie, Heather and I.

"I know. I'm still not talking to my mother," I grumble, reaching over and adjusting the hot tub settings so that the bubbles are on full blast. The boys are going to come over after everyone is asleep, well except Brad of course. Everyone isn't even really that many people, just David. Mom and Andy are in Monterey for the night, and they won't be back until tomorrow mid morning, and Jake is staying over at a friend's for the night.

"Don't worry, we'll keep all the girls away from Paul while you're gone," Debbie reassures me, smiling over at me.

"You guys are so great! God my stupid mom had to go and ruin everything!" I say, pouting majorly as the last light goes off in the house.

"Do you think it's safe to call the guys?" Heather asks excitedly. I giggle a little and nod my head, reaching over the edge of the tub for my cell phone.

"Oooh! Give it to me I wanna call!" Kelly squeals and I roll my eyes before putting the phone on speaker phone. All of the guys were staying over at Paul's house.

"Hey gorgeous," he says and all the rest of the girls sigh while Heather whispers, "God, why can't Bryce be more like him?"

"We're ready for you guys when you feel like coming over," I say and Kelly quickly grabs the phone.

"Put Tad on the phone!" she squeals and Paul chuckles before calling for Tad.

"Hello?" he asks and Kelly quickly turns the phone off speaker phone, getting out of the tub and walking to the other end of the deck.

The rest of us are sent into a fit of giggles and I sigh, thinking about how much I'm going to miss all of them.

"Kelly! He'll be here soon enough! Get back in here!" Heather calls over to her.

"Fuck you!" she exclaims which, of course, makes us all laugh again.

A few minutes later she finally returns, smiling smugly and setting my cell phone on the side table before slipping back in the hot tub with us.

"They're on their way," she says simply, smiling at all of us.

"I'm sure they are," I say, chuckling as I reach over for the bottle of vodka that I snuck out of the liquor cabinet.

"I'm going to miss you," Debbie begins as I pass the bottle to her. "But in reality, you are soooo lucky. Imagine all the hot guys at St. Croix."

"I know, but I don't even care about any other boys. I have Paul, and I intend on not looking at another guy with remotely any interest at all," I say.

"Aww, baby, that's sweet," comes Paul's voice from behind me and I turn around, nearly jumping out of the hot tub.

"Holy shit you got here fast," I say, laughing as he pulls his shirt off and gets in next to me.

"I just couldn't wait to see you," he says, putting his arm around me and pulling me close as the rest of the guys get in the hot tub.

"Is that all you guys got?" Brad asks, motioning to the one bottle of vodka, which was already 1/4 gone.

"Unless you wanna go get more, then yes," I tell him, moving closer to Paul and kissing him lightly on the lips.

I look back over after I pull back, seeing them all staring expectantly at me, "Alright, alright I'll go get more. Any requests?" I say, laughing as I stand up.

"You know what I like, Suze," Kelly says, giggling a little as Tad finishes the vodka in one gulp.

"Which means bring out all of the vodka you can find, and some gin also, oh and beer, the stuff that Brad hides in the deep freezer, heck just bring it all. Paul will replace it all, won't ya?" Bryce says after finishing the vodka.

"Thanks for volunteering me, jackass," Paul says before laughing and standing up. "I'll help you, babe."

"Of course you will," Tad says and Paul punches his arm lightly before following me out of the hot tub and into the living room.

Once we're inside, he pulls me into his arms and starts kissing me. "Whoa, tiger," I say, pulling back after a few moments and laughing.

He grins and replies, "I wanted to give you a proper hello."

"Oh really, you call that a proper hello?" I ask him coyly.

"Why yes I do," Paul replies.

"Well then mister, I think you have much to learn. That was FAR from a proper hello," I say, grinning.

"Really?" he asks, pulling me a little closer to him. "And what would you call a proper hello?"

"Hmm, this," I whisper before kissing him, softly at first but then with more and more passion until I'm weak in the knees and grasping to his body for support.

He picks me up and carries me over to the couch, not once breaking the kiss. He sits down with me still in his arms and I straddle him, my lips moving down to his neck.

I sigh in pleasure as his teeth graze against the sensitive skin at my neck, my hands slipping over his chest, slick from the hot tub water.

"I love this bikini on you," he mumbles and I smile.

"I know. That's why I wore it," I whisper.

"Mmm, you know what I love even better though?" Paul asks me, his hands moving to my back.

I pull back and look down at him. "What?" I ask breathily as his hands slowly start to untie my bikini top.

"I like it off of you," he says, a grin on his face and I gasp as I feel his hand against my bare chest.

"Paul...they're probably wondering where we...oh god," I start to say though in the end I can't think clearly, distracted by the magic his hands are working.

"You were saying something?" Paul says, his voice deep and sexy.

"N-No," I whimper, closing my eyes and letting out another moan as I feel his lips on my breast.

"What the fuck are you guys doing? We want our booze!" Kelly exclaims from the hot tub and I jump in surprise.

"Get it yourself!" Paul exclaims before turning back to me. "What do you say we take this upstairs?"

"Rain check? I really want to spend some time with everybody before I have to go," I say apologetically.

He doesn't seem fazed by it though. "I'm going to hold you to that," he says, kissing me lightly.

"You better," I say, kissing him softly before getting up and quickly tying my top back on.

"Let me help you," he says softly, tying my top for me.

"Thank you baby. Now let's go get that booze before there's a mutiny," I say, giggling.

He chuckles and I stand up, pulling him up with me. "Let's," he says.

"Okay, they have about 5 million bottles of vodka. I'll get 5 for now, you grab the rest of the stuff," I say, grabbing the bottles.

Five minutes later, we're back outside and they all nearly jump on us for the drinks. "Whoa, calm down!" I exclaim, laughing.

"You guys were in there for like 20 fucking minutes," Bryce exclaims.

"What can I say? We got...distracted," Paul says, winking at me and I blush a little as Kelly grabs a bottle of vodka from me.

"Whatever. Let's get this party staaarted," she says, opening it and taking a small swig.

The rest of the night is a typical night for the eight of us: music, fun, and drinking so much that we won't remember a thing the next morning.

Everyone except Paul, me, Debbie, and Brad leave at around 3 a.m. Brad and Debbie stumble upstairs to do god knows what, but Paul and I decide to stick in the hot tub a little longer.

"I'm gonna miiiiiiss youuuuu," I tell him, my words slurring together as I kiss him sloppily, nearly missing his lips.

"I know, I'm going to miss you too," Paul says softly. He's always been able to hold his liquor better than I could.

"I'm going to be allllllllll the way on St. Croix while youuuu're gonna be back here with all these gorgeous girls just waiting to steal you away from meeee," I say, pouting as my arms slide around his neck.

"But you're more gorgeous than any of the rest, and I love you more than I could ever like anyone else," Paul says.

I sigh and smile up at him. "I love you too," I reply softly, resting my head against his chest.

"You wanna go upstairs babe?" Paul murmurs in my hair.

I nod my head and he stands up, holding me in his arms. "I'm gonna call you eeeeveryday," I tell him as he carries me into the house and up to my room.

"I got you a present," Paul whispers as he opens my bedroom door and sets me down.

"Yay!" I exclaim, clapping my hands as he picks up a box that's sitting by the door.

"What's this...ooo! A webcam! And...a box," I say, frowning a little as I pick up a small box inside the box.

"Open it, babe," he says, taking my hand and softly stroking the back of it with his thumb.

"Paul! Paul it's beauuutiful!" I cry, taking out a diamond pendant.

He laughs a little and leans forward to kiss me. "I knew you'd like it," he says softly.

"It's amazing," I whisper, "help me put it on!"

He takes the necklace from me and I quickly move my hair out of the way. "It must have cost you soooo much!" I exclaim.

"Nothing is ever too much when it concerns you," Paul says earnestly.

He clasps the necklace around my neck and I turn around to face him. "How am I going to survive without you?" I ask softly.

"You'll manage, and the webcam will help, that way we can see each other and talk to each other at the same time," Paul says, grinning.

"You're so thoughtful," I reply, smiling and yawning a moment later. "It's late, babe," he says softly. "You should get to bed."

"But I want to be with you, Paul," I say, pouting and looking up at him.

"I'll stay here with you," he says, gently pushing me back against the pillows and pulling the covers over me.

"Thank you baby," I yawn, pulling him close to me as he lies down.

He wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss against my hair. "Good night, Suze," he whispers.

"Nightie night," I reply, breathing in his scent as I fall fast asleep.

We've been here about twenty minutes and I already hate it. It's too hot and sticky and it smells like fish.

"Suze could you just...stop trying to spoil everything for everyone else? Please? Could you PLEASE think of someone other than yourself for one moment?" Mom says in an exasperated tone as we load our luggage into our rental car.

I roll my eyes and say nothing. I haven't said more than two word phrases to her since she told me about this stupid trip.

I roll my eyes and put my sunglasses on, crossing my arms over my chest and looking around.

I have to admit though, it is pretty beautiful. The ocean is sparkling and blue, kind of like back in Carmel but...different. It would be so much better if Paul could be with me.

I sigh as I think this and then out of the corner of my eye, I see something that makes me halt...well someone would be the proper term I guess.

I slide my sunglasses to the top of my head to get a better look at him, but quickly look away when our eyes meet.

Immediately I feel my face flush and I nearly dive into the car. I can't believe I was just caught looking at another guy.

"Shoot," Andy mutters from the front seat, fumbling with a bunch of papers.

"What is it, dear?" my mom asks sweetly, placing her hand on his arm. This simple action nearly makes me gag.

"I forgot to print out the directions from the computer back home," he mumbles and I roll my eyes, trying to keep my eyes away from the guy. It's hard though...hey don't look at me like that. You'd find it hard too! He's shirtless, and he's not exactly in bad shape...at all, the complete opposite, he's built like a god, oh, and there's the fact that he's lifting things, heavy things from the look of it, and in the few seconds I saw him, the way his muscles flexed when he lifted them...fuck what am I saying, he's a cow.

We drive up the road a bit and to my utter horror, we stop right in front of him. Andy rolls down the window and leans out slightly. "Excuse me!" he calls and the guy quickly sets down a box and hurries over to the car, his eyes flickering back to me for a moment.

"Can I help you?" he asks, leaning down so that he's face to face with Andy.

"Yes, I'm afraid we're lost," he says, giving a weak, embarrassed smile. God, he's such a fucking idiot.

"Where is your destination?" the guy asks and Andy fishes through a pile of papers and pulls out a slip.

Andy reads the address of the house we're renting and the guy nods his head. "You can follow me there, it's right near where I'm going," he tells Andy.

"Thank you so much, really," Andy says, smiling graciously at him. He signals to someone near the loading truck before jogging over to another car, getting in and starting down the road, Andy following right behind him.

We stop in front of a big, beautiful house, probably even bigger than our house back in Carmel. We all pile out of the car and I feel my cheeks flame up as the guy gets out of his car and walks over to us.

"Nice place you're renting. I helped build it 2 summers ago," he says, shading his eyes from the sun with his hand, "the only problem is that you'll hate it in the morning when all of the sun comes in through the east windows, since most of the bedrooms face east, except the one on the ground floor, that has a western view."

"Good to know," Andy says, grinning. "I'm Andy Ackerman, by the way." He then goes on to name the rest of is, introducing me last. The guy's eyes meet mine and I look away.

"Jesse de Silva, nice to meet you all," he says and I risk another glance to see he's still looking at me. Why won't he stop? Can't he see that I'm NOT interested?

He and Andy talk while I go to the trunk to get my bags. Jesse's at my side in no time flat. "Here, let me help you," he says.

"I'm fine, really, I don't--" I say, stopping when gently pries my fingers away from the handles of the bag.

"I insist," he says, smiling. I just sigh and roll my eyes, folding my arms and following him into the house.

Making sure that no one's looking, I quickly flex my hand to get rid of the tingling feeling that for some reason won't go away.

"Where are you and your family from?" he asks as we walk up to the house.

"California," I say flippantly, walking past him and into the house, straight ahead to the first room I see. I guess this must be the bedroom with windows that face west.

"I've never been out of St. Croix," he tells me, setting my bags down on the bed. "I couldn't imagine living anywhere else." I roll my eyes and sit down on the bed, not responding.

"Do you have any plans for tonight, Susannah? May I call you that?" Jesse asks me, and I wince at the use of my full name.

"No you may not," I snap. "And as far as you're concerned, I have plans every night for the next two months."

"We'll see," he says lightly and I once again roll my eyes before pulling out my laptop and my webcam, halting when I see that he hasn't left yet.

"Is there something you want?" I ask, annoyed at this guy who thinks he can just barge in here and...and...UGH! He's just...annoying!

"You don't seem to know what you're doing there," Jesse says and I halt, glaring at him.

"No one asked you," I reply angrily, wishing this guy would just leave.

"Oh, I know that, I just noticed that you're doing it all wrong. This cord, this goes here, not here," Jesse says.

He starts to approach me but I shake my head. "I'm doing just fine on my own, thank you," I snap at him.

He lifts his hands as if saying all right don't bite off my head you psycho bitch, and this makes me even more pissed off.

"You have no business being here!" I exclaim, my temper getting the better of me. "You gave us directions and you helped with the bags. Great. Now leave."

Before he can say anything, Andy's voice comes down the hall and Jesse glances at me, smirking before leaving.

I groan in frustration and cover my face with my hands. It's going to be a long, long summer.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yay review Thankies very much lol. So yep, here's the next chapter, more Jesse! Yay, hehe. Hope you enjoy

Chapter 3

"Susie, put on a nice dress, we're going out for dinner with the de Silvas tonight," mom says, poking her head into my room a few nights later.

"The de Silvas??" I exclaim, closing my magazine and looking over at her. "As in Jesse and his family??"

"Yes dear, Jesse and his family have invited us out to dinner, and we've accepted. They're very nice people, it would do you some good to be friends with Jesse," mom says before leaving the room.

Oh my GOD. We've been here not even a week and this Jesse guy is already trying to weave his way into my life. I'm seriously counting down the days until I'm back home in Carmel. In Paul's arms.

My laptop beeps over on my desk and I practically jump out of bed and over to my chair, pressing a button on my webcam and smiling as I see Paul looking back at me.

"Hey there, gorgeous," he says, his dazzling grin making me melt inside.

"Hey baby. I miss you," I say, frowning a little as I sigh.

"I miss you too," he says, giving me a small smile. "Every minute you're gone I miss you more and more."

"It's miserable here. They force me to do these things, as if they aren't already making me miserable enough," I say, rolling my eyes.

"I'm sure it's not that bad. My parents are making me get a job this summer," Paul replies, letting out a groan.

"I'd rather have a job in Carmel, and be with you, than be here alone, jobless. Ugh, I have to go...mom wants me to change into some fancy dress for dinner," I say.

"Love you, babe," he says, blowing me a kiss. I "catch" it and hold it close to my heart. "Love you too. Bye," I say.

Half an hour later I still haven't decided what dress to wear, and mom comes in, looks at my pile and makes a frustrated sound before going into my closet and picking out...no, not that dress! That dress makes me look hot!

And that's the LAST thing I need...Jesse's eyes are gonna be on me alllll night! So I decide to go with the plainest one I can find.

But unfortunately, mom must be on the bitch pill tonight because she won't even let me out of the house in that, and she MAKES me wear the sexy one.

"Okay, I'm ready!" I exclaim, stomping out of my room with my arms folded across my chest.

"Oh honey, you look gorgeous, now come here and let me fix this," mom says, adjusting my dress and my hair until she's satisfied.

I say nothing, just rolling my eyes every now and then as we go out to the car. "Where are we meeting them, dear?" my mom asks Andy as he starts the car.

"This restaurant in town, I have the name written down here..." Andy says, handing her a piece of paper before driving off.

We arrive there about ten minutes later and my mom pulls me aside before we go in. "Suze, listen to me," she says sternly. "I want you to act civil toward the de Silvas tonight. A night at dinner won't kill you."

"I'll be fine, god," I grumble, pulling my arm away before hiking my purse up my shoulder and walking in, drawing the gazes of every guy I pass. Oh yeah, I'm hot and I know how to work it.

As my mother and I approach, all the men at the table stand up (even Jake, Brad and David. I'm impressed) and sit down as soon as we're seated. Shit. I'm sitting next to Jesse.

He's wearing a suit shirt and a tie with black formal pants. Huh, I was expecting him to be wearing some grungy t-shirt and shorts after seeing him last. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, last time I saw him was when I was walking through town, and he was doing some more grunt work, wearing no shirt, again, and some baggy shorts. It seems to be his attire of choice.

And whenever I see him, he gives me this...look, like he's doing right now. Like he knows something I don't. Some big secret that he's not letting me in on.

Shit...it might be that or the fact that I'm sporting some major cleavage right now...gotta fix that before he gets any ideas.

"Excuse me," I say as politely as I can before getting up from the table and nearly running to the bathroom.

"Stupid Jesse with his stupid face and his stupid arms and his stupid eyes," I mumble, pulling my dress up and quickly fixing my lip gloss.

I check my hair once before going back out, totally dreading the rest of the night. I just want to go home, change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and take a walk on the beach like I do back in Carmel and have been doing ever since we got here.

"You okay sweetie?" mom asks me suspiciously and I roll my eyes discreetly before smiling and nodding my head.

"Of course, mom," I reply as sweetly as I can and I hear Jesse chuckle a little beside me.

I shoot him a glare, and for the rest of dinner I make a very poignant effort to ignore him at all costs.

After dessert while our parents are talking, he leans over to me. "Take a walk with me, Susannah," he whispers.

"Don't call me that," I hiss, clutching my napkin.

"You can't tell me what to do," he says and I can hear a smirk in his voice.

I whip my head around to seethe at this bastard, how dare he go and talk to me like that, and then SMILE about it?

All of a sudden, I feel his hand on my arm and he's pulling me up with him. "Susannah and I are taking a walk," he announces to the table and before I can protest, we're walking out of the restaurant.

"Let me go!" I exclaim once we're out of earshot of everyone else, "God you're such a fucking jerk!"

"I'm a jerk? You're the one who's had an attitude since day one," he says quite calmly which infuriates me. "I'm just trying to be nice and introduce you to this beautiful island."

"Yeah, well I never asked for you to. I don't even want to be here, I should be back in Carmel with..." I say, but for some reason I find myself stopping before I say 'Paul'.

"With whom?" he asks, raising his left eyebrow at me which I notice has a scar.

"With...my friends," I finish lamely.

"Oh, of course," he says, nodding his head slowly.

I simply glare at him and fold my arms across my chest. "Well, how about that walk?" he says after a moment.

"Why should I even consider going on a walk with you? I don't like you at all," I say.

He grins and shakes his head. "You say that now," he says.

"Yes, I do. But I'll also be saying it tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and the day after...you get the drift," I say.

He laughs and shakes his head. "If you say so, querida," he says.

"What did you just call me?" I demand, whipping my head around to look at him, "What, was that like some Spanish insult?"

Jesse says nothing, just leans down and examines the orchids growing in the garden before picking one.

"I should tell them that you did that. Maybe they'd kick you out and put you in jail," I mutter.

He must have heard me, because he laughs again. "I know the owner," he says simply, coming closer to me.

"What are you doing?" I ask, taking a step backwards.

I feel frozen as he reaches out and tucks the orchid behind my ear. "Beautiful," he whispers, probably not meant for me to hear.

If I didn't absolutely love orchids, I would have pulled the flower out of my hair that moment and stepped on it...but like I said, I love orchids.

"Susannah," he says, his voice soft and a serious expression on his face. "Can I take you out tomorrow night? Show you around the island?"

"No. Sorry, but I...have plans, I absolutely can't do them any other time," I say quickly.

He doesn't even seem fazed by it though. "Some other time then. We've got the whole summer," he says, smiling.

"Erm, no...not really. I'm only here for another month and a half," I say, glancing back towards the restaurant.

"That's plenty of time, querida," he says, that same half smile still on his face.

"I told you to stop calling me that. It's pissing me off. You know what? I don't want to talk to you anymore. I think I'm just going to go say bye and then walk home," I say indignantly.

He doesn't seem surprised by my reaction but doesn't say anything. "Well...goodbye," I say before stomping off.

I inform my mom that I'm leaving and she asks if anything's wrong. Knowing that I'm due for my monthly visitor any day now, I play off the cramps card, of course I whisper it in her ear I don't just say it for the whole table to hear, and then I walk home. Fast. Once there, I call Paul and we talk over the webcam, and let's just say it gets a little...naughty. I miss him so much and this makes me realize it more than ever, but for some reason, and it's killing me...I can't get...him, I don't want to say his name because it will make it more real, out of my mind.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Heyy everyone, here's a new chapter, hope you guys like, hehe

Chapter 4

There's a knock on my sliding glass door three days later and I turn my head, my smile turning into an angry frown. "Heather, I have to call you back," I say into the phone. Without waiting for her to reply, I hang up and walk over to the door.

"No," I say, locking the door and crossing my arms over my chest.

Jesse just smirks at me. "I haven't said anything," he says and I roll my eyes.

"Well I'm saying no anyways. You know why? Because I don't like you. I'm not going on a stupid date with you. Go away, take your flower with you," I snap.

He just shakes his head and places the orchid on the ground outside of the door. "No, this is a gift. Goodbye, querida," he says, his voice holding the promise to be back.

Begrudgingly I open the door and lean down, picking it up, twirling it in my fingers for a few seconds before going back inside and cutting the stem so that it'll stay alive longer, putting it in the vase with the 5 other flowers. He's done this everyday for...well 6 days now. Like I said before...I love these flowers too much to just throw them away. Sighing I look out my door and see Jesse walking down the beach a little ways off and I roll my eyes.

I haven't told anyone back home about him. Don't ask me why. It's not like there's anything going on between us. There can't be. I love Paul. Always have, always will. That's not going to change just because some random guy calls me some stupid Spanish name and shows up at my door everyday with an orchid and asks me out. It's a bit annoying.

I walk over to the door and shut it tight; I hadn't bothered to after picking up the flower, before closing the blinds. I didn't want him like spying on me while I changed or anything.

"Honey?" comes my mother's voice as she opens the door after knocking once. "Why don't you take a walk or something? It's beautiful out there."

"Why should I? There's nothing to do but walk by myself," I say grumpily.

"Why don't you go find Jesse?" she suggests and the second I hear his name, I feel like screaming. "NO! I am NOT going on a walk with HIM!" I exclaim.

"Suze. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with him, and to be frank, you're always such a bitch to him. He is a nice, respectable young man, he comes from a good family, I think it would really do you some good to give him a chance!" Mom exclaims before leaving the room in a huff.

I let out a loud groan and suppress the urge to scream. I can't WAIT to get back home to normality, to my friends and to Paul.

Even though it's almost 8 o'clock it's still hot as blazes outside, and the sun is still out, so I decide I might as well lay out in the sand for a while, if nothing else.

I quickly change into a bikini and put some shorts on, grabbing my towel, sunglasses and magazine before heading out.

I walk for a little while before laying my towel out in the sand and lying on top of it, pulling my shorts off. I don't have to worry about too many people out here; it's pretty much a private beach. Letting out a deep sigh I close my eyes, just intending to soak up a little sun, but without realizing it, I slowly fall to sleep.

I look up as my name falls from his lips in a sweet, sensual whisper. As soon as our eyes meet, I feel shivers throughout my body, like he's seeing right into my soul. I stand up and walk right over to him, sliding my arms around his neck and holding him close, breathing in his scent: his cologne, mixed with the smell of the ocean.

A soft sigh escapes from my lips as he leans down, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of my jaw. I need him, and I need him now. It's like there's a fire inside of me...an intense fire that keeps building up and it won't go away.

He slides his arms around my waist and pulls me as close to him as is humanly possible. My hands glide over his face, tracing his handsome features before I lean in and kiss him.

Our tongues reach out for each other over and over again and it feels like a million years later when he finally pulls back for breath, but only for a split second, before his lips are once again trailing down my neck. This time, though, they're accompanied by the feeling of his hand slipping up my shirt.

I moan out his name, my hands gripping the back of his shirt as his lips drive me absolutely crazy with desire. In a moment, though, his lips aren't the only thing driving me crazy.

His hand has found it's way underneath my bra and he's massaging my breast with his big, calloused hands. I know calluses aren't always viewed as great, but oh my god...on his hands right now...they're fucking amazing.

Suddenly, he sweeps me off my feet and carries me over to the large bed and gently sets me down. I feel that if he isn't touching me for even one second, I might die.

A small whimper escapes my throat, and then within a second his hard body is pressed firmly against mine and his hands are pushing my shirt up and over my head.

I crush my lips to his, my hands clawing at his shirt, the only thing keeping me from his bare flesh that I ache to touch, kiss, hold.

A deep chuckle leaves his mouth as he moves so that he's sitting up, straddling me, and he pulls his shirt straight off over his head, his muscles flexing deliciously in the process.

A low groan escapes my mouth and he grins, pressing our bodies together once more as he kisses me. I'm tingling all over from the intensity of the kiss, amazed at what his lips can do to me.

"Oh...oh...yes that feels so good," I moan as he then removes my bra from my body with a flick of his wrists, and I feel his lips on my nipple.

"You like that?" he nearly growls, looking up at me with eyes filled with passion and desire.

"You know I do," I moan out, my chest rising and falling with every breath I take, and this only excites him even more.

My skirt is gone in a flash as are his jeans. The only things separating us are my panties and his boxers.

"Your body is intoxicating," he whispers against my lips before capturing them in a searing kiss, sending tingles all over my body and making me rub my thighs together in anticipation.

"I need you right now," I moan, my hands gripping the waistline of his boxers.

His hands cover mine, and they're absolutely huge compared to mine. I wonder if that urban legend is true...you know the one? The bigger the hand the bigger the...you know.

We both push his boxers down his legs and I can't help the small smile that appears on my face. Yup. Urban legend totally true.

"Do you...like what you see?" he asks me, a smile forming on his handsome face as well. A blush slowly spread across my cheeks as my eyes dart down to it again.

He places his hand on my cheek and chuckles a little. "Do you?" he asks and I nod my head almost imperceptibly. The truth is, I love everything about him, his eyes, his body, his gentle touch, the way that I just know that he loves me when he looks into my eyes.

"I was getting a little worried there for a second," he says, his voice husky as his lips kiss my collarbone softly.

I attempt to laugh, but it turns into more of a moan. "If I don't have you now, I...I'll lose my mind," I mumble, digging my nails into his shoulders.

"Mmm, I'm feeling the same way," he whispers, his lips once again at my breast, sucking lightly.

His hands slide down my body, stopping at the waistline of my panties. For a minute, I think he's having second thoughts, but then his lips find mine, my panties are gone and a moment later, I feel him ease into me.

I've done this before with him, many times actually, but every time it feels like the first, it feels just as new and amazing; it never fails to take my breath away.

I moan out his name as he starts to move within me, quickening his pace when I scream that I want him to. I need him to.

I scream out his name over and over again as he pounds into me, grunting with exertion. His hand slowly slips down to the center of my pleasure, and that's when I lose it.

There's an explosion within me, nearly blinding me with pleasure. Nothing has ever felt this good, will ever feel this good.

"Mmm, come for me," he growls, kissing me fiercely as he continues his ministrations.

His lips muffle my screams as I reach my limit, his coming shortly after. "Oh my god," I whisper, my breath coming in short, ragged gasps.

"I love you," he moans, panting as he lies down and pulls me against him.

I smile and press a soft kiss to his chest before resting my head against it. "I love you too, Jesse," I whisper.

I gasp, my body jumping a little bit as I wake up, "Oh my fucking god..." I whisper to myself.

I slowly sit up, realizing my body is drenched in sweat and my hands are shaking. "Oh...oh my god," I repeat, trying to catch my breath

I take my sunglasses off when I realize that it's dark outside now and I turn my head around, shrieking in fright.

It's Jesse. Seeing his face brings the dream back and I close my eyes, shaking my head fiercely to get the image out of my head.

I can't get the thought completely out of my head and I notice that his eyes are lingering on my chest a little bit, and I quickly cross my arms over my chest, mad that my body won't get the thought of out my head.

"Are...are you okay?" he asks, his voice filled with concern. "You were making...weird noises while you slept."

"How long were you watching me?" I ask quickly, my face flushing.

"Just a few minutes," he replies. "I was taking a walk on the beach when I saw you. I...I couldn't take my eyes off you."

"Jesse...what...what was I doing?" I ask, blinking a few times.

"You were...uhm...moaning," he says, blushing a little bit. "And I...well...I thought I heard..."

I quickly look away as Jesse starts talking again, "And uhm...you were sort of...well I don't know if humping is the right word, but yeah..." he says slowly.

"Oh my god," I mumble, trying to remember when I've ever been so embarrassed. Nope. Nothing. I've never been this embarrassed before in my life and ohhh my god. This is horrible.

"Don't worry about it," he says but I can't seem to wipe the blush off of my face...or stop picturing him naked.

"No...I just...oh my God," I mumble, shoving my face in my hands.

"I'm just wondering...what...who were...you know?" he asks, sitting down in front of me.

"Oh my god," I mumble again, trying, but failing to get the image out of my head.

Jesse waits expectantly and I look up at him, but I'm still blushing just as hard.

"I uhm...well..." I say slowly, trailing off and looking away.

"Querida, you can tell me, don't be embarrassed," Jesse says, leaning back on the palms of his hands.

"How can you even say that? I just met you," I reply, the blush still on my face.

"I don't judge people. I never have," Jesse explains simply.

Still, I shake my head. "No, I'm sorry, I can't," I tell him.

"Why not? Was it me?" Jesse asks, grinning and I can tell he's teasing me, but immediately I can tell that my face is probably redder than it's ever been before, and I can't look him in the eye.

I glance at his face which is free of any smiles or playfulness. "It...was, wasn't it?" he says quietly.

I focus on a point past his shoulder, trying to get the heat to go away from my face, but it's hard with him sitting in front of me, oh, and have I mentioned yet that he's shirtless?

Of course, this only brings back images of him naked and I swear, life doesn't get much worse than this.

I glance back at him and I don't know if it's just the way he's sitting there like he knows he's hot, or if it's my curiosity of if dream Jesse was the same as real Jesse...well anyways one minute I'm sitting there completely embarrassed and the next I'm straddling his lap as I kiss him ferociously.

He seems surprised for a second, but gets over it quickly and starts kissing me back and...yup, it's pretty much the same. Same tingly sensation throughout my body, same fire in my chest.

A moan escapes my mouth as I feel his tongue prodding my lips, begging me for entrance, but he didn't need to beg. I open my mouth, meeting his tongue with me own.

I run my hands all over his chest, memorizing every detail with my fingers. "Querida," he moans against my lips.

"Mmm," I moan back, grinding my hips against his as my hand runs up and down his washboard abs, causing him to shiver with desire.

He wraps his arms around my waist, pressing me close to him just like in my dream.

"Jesse," I moan, as his lips leave mine and start leaving a trail of kisses down my neck trailing lower and lower.

Suddenly, in the middle of all of this, I realize that this is totally, horribly wrong. I'm kissing someone who isn't Paul. I'm kissing JESSE.

I open my mouth to tell him he needs to stop, but at that moment I feel his hand on my breast and any words that were going to come out come out instead as a low moan.

"I...I..." I mumble, my thoughts all jumbled up. All I can seem to think about is Jesse's lips on my neck and his hand on my breast.

"You...you intoxicate me, querida," he groans, his other hand on my ass, pushing me firmly against his body.

I let out another low moan, closing my eyes and throwing my head back in pleasure. "Jesse," I moan out.

His hand moves away momentarily from my breast and a small whimper escapes my mouth, replaced by yet another moan as I feel it slipping underneath my bikini moments later.

"Jesse, oh my god," I moan, images from the dream flashing through my mind which heightens all of my senses, driving me absolutely crazy.

"Jesse...Jesse we...I...we need to stop," I say with great difficulty.

He pulls back, breathing deeply. "But..." he begins, but I cut him off.

"This...this is wrong, it's...no...I don't even like you!" I exclaim, jumping out of his lap and grabbing my things, glancing over at him once more before practically sprinting away.

"Susannah, wait!" I hear him exclaim but I don't turn around, just keep running until I get to the house. My cell phone rings a few times and Paul tries to get me on the webcam but I can't talk to any of them. I just sit on the bed and stare at the wall, thinking one thing the whole time: I just kissed another guy...shouldn't I feel guilty?


	5. Chapter 5

A small knock comes from the other side of the room and I get up from where I was painting my fingernails on my bed, walking over and seeing none other than Jesse, of course, at the door, a single orchid in his hand. It's been 3 days since we...well, since the incident, and he still comes every night.

"When are you going to give up?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and shaking my head.

"I'm not going to. Simple as that. Susannah...please, let me take you out. I want to start new; I want us to start over, before what happened on Wednesday night. Please," Jesse says softly.

Okay, I don't know what made me do it. Maybe...I don't know. "...Sure," I say after a moment or two, smiling a little.

"Great...this is for you," Jesse says, his face beaming as he hands me the orchid.

I smile a little and take it from him. "I'll be here tomorrow, around the same time," he says, still beaming. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay," I say softly and he reaches out, taking my hand and squeezing it softly before leaving.

I walk over to my vase quickly and put the orchid in, taking out one of the ones that looks like it's starting to wilt a little bit and looking down at it, fingering its soft petals, before going outside and throwing it in the ocean.

I walk back to the house a smile on my face the whole time until my phone starts ringing and I see Paul's number. Shit.

I've been avoiding his calls for too long, I can't do it any longer or he's going to send the FBI out to look for me, "Hey baby," I say as I answer it.

"Suze!" he exclaims. "I was beginning to think you died or something! How are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm sorry I haven't been answering my phone, it's been dead and I couldn't find the charger, turns out mom took it to charge her phone," I say, trying not to sound guilty.

"Well, I'm glad you got it back," he says. "So, how is it there? Everyone here really misses you. Especially me."

"I miss you too Paul. It's so...I don't know...but I don't like it here. I want things to be the way they used to be, with me in Carmel," I say, but do I really mean it?

He chuckles a little before sighing. "Well, that makes two of us," he says. "Listen, I've got to run. I'll call you tomorrow though, okay?"

"Okay. I love you Paul," I say softly and I can tell he's smiling on the other end of the line.

"I love you too. Bye," he says before hanging up.

I sigh and set my phone on my desk softly before walking into my bathroom and getting in, taking a nice, long bubble bath.

As I get into bed that night, I find myself really excited for my date with Jesse. In fact, the whole next day, that's all I can think about.

I feel like crap for going out with another guy while I have a perfect boyfriend waiting at home for me...but I mean...what could one little date do? Never mind don't answer that, because I mean, look what happened when we weren't even on a date.

Just as I finish getting ready, there's a soft knock at the sliding door and I turn, smiling when I see Jesse with his single orchid and a smile on his face.

"You look...beautiful querida. This is for you, I see you've made a collection of them," he says, chuckling as he looks around my room once I let him in.

"It's all thanks to you," I reply, taking the flower from him and adding it to the collection. "And you don't look too bad yourself."

"Susannah...I feel the need to apologize for what happened the other night...I shouldn't have...I took it too far," Jesse says slowly.

As soon as he says it, images fill my mind and I close my eyes, trying to block them out. "Please, Jesse...let's just forget about it, okay?" I reply.

"Okay, I can do that," he says, smiling a little bit before reaching out and taking my hand.

The familiar tingling sensation creeps into my skin but instead of blocking it out like before, I welcome it. "Let's go," I say.

"Right this way," he says, opening the sliding door for me and then shutting it behind us once we're outside.

"Where are we going?" I ask, looking over at him as we walk on the beach.

"It's a surprise," Jesse says, looking down at our hands and smiling before smiling at me.

As I smile back and look into his eyes, I feel a kind of falling sensation. Something that I've only felt once before.

...And it wasn't with Jesse before, it was with Paul, the first time we kissed.

"What's on your mind, querida?" he asks when I become kind of quiet.

"Just life, I guess," I say, smiling over at him a little.

Silence falls over us for a few moments before he asks me, "Tell me a little about yourself, Susannah. I barely know you."

"You barely know me, and yet here you are on a date with me," I say, giggling softly.

"After how long of asking?" he replies, smirking at me and I blush a little.

"But hey, I'm here now, aren't I? You said yes eventually, and now I'm here with you," Jesse says softly.

I blush a little more and he squeezes my hand. "Where are you taking me?" I ask, looking up at him.

"My favorite place in the world to eat," he answers, running his thumb lightly across the back of my hand.

"And where would that be?" I ask, my voice a little shaky. When he did that with his thumb, my stomach did a kind of flutter.

"This little restaurant just up here. It has outdoor seating during the summer, overlooking the ocean," Jesse explains.

I nod my head and a silence falls over us. Not uncomfortable. Kind of...well, perfect.

"Here we are," he says, stopping in front of a quaint restaurant, each table lit by candlelight.

"Wow, it's beautiful," I reply as the hostess takes us to our seats. I laugh a little as I see a single orchid in a small glass vase on the table.

She gives us our menus and leaves us to decide what we want. Jesse leans forward and takes the orchid out of the vase, pulling off part of the stem before putting it in my hair.

"Beautiful," he says softly, just as he had that night outside the restaurant. I blush and look down at my menu, trying to stop a big goofy smile from appearing on my face.

"Do you know what you want to get?" Jesse asks me, closing his menu a few moments later.

"I don't know...what's good?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Well, I can assure you that they don't serve anything that isn't absolutely delicious here, but it depends on what types of food you like," Jesse states.

I glance down at the menu and reply, "Well, I guess I'll have what you're having. I'm not very picky."

"Okay then. We would both like shrimp Alfredo and side Caesar salads," Jesse tells the waitress.

"Coming right up," she says, taking our menus before walking away. As soon as she's gone, Jesse reaches across the table for my hand.

"You look so beautiful tonight, querida," he says to me softly, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it gently.

"Thank you," I reply, looking down at our hands. Mine is pale and small while his is tanned and big. Strong. Despite their differences, they seem to fit together perfectly.

"So, after dinner, I was thinking you and I could take a walk along the beach, maybe stop in my backyard. It overlooks the sea and we have a chair swing," Jesse says.

"Sounds perfect," I reply and smile at him. Dinner goes by uneventfully besides the occasional flattery from Jesse which, of course, makes me blush. And I want to know what the hell querida means.

After we're both finished, Jesse pays for the bill even after I protest and offer to pay for half, and then he helps me up and we walk down the beach.

"It must have been great growing up here," I say softly, looking out at the ocean. "It's so beautiful."

"It can get boring though sometimes...lonely. I've been around the same people my entire life. Everyone knows my business. I'm bored," Jesse says.

"Yeah, I guess," I reply. "It's kind of like that back in Carmel since it's such a small town."

"Ahh, it's hard growing up in any small town," Jesse says in understanding.

"And it only got worse when..." I start to say, trailing off when I realize I was about to tell him about Paul.

"When...?" Jesse asks softly but I sigh and shake my head.

"Never mind. It's not important," I reply, looking down at my feet.

"Okay," Jesse says, squeezing my hand gently, "here we are."

I smile up at him as he leads me to his house. This is something I love about him: Paul would have bugged me until he was blue in the face about what I was going to say. Jesse is just totally understanding about it, though.

"And here is the swing, unless you would like a tour of my house first?" Jesse asks.

"I'd love one," I reply as he leads me toward the house. His house is beautiful. It kind of reminds me of my house in Carmel.

"Well, this is the kitchen," he says as we enter through the back door.

Yeah, this definitely reminds me of 99 Pine Crest Drive: the kitchen is huge.

"Over here is the living room and dining room. That's pretty much it for the downstairs, besides the powder room. Now for the upstairs," Jesse continues.

"These are my sisters' rooms," he says as we head upstairs. "Marta and Mercedes share this room, Josephina, Anamaria and Elena in this one. I, however, have my own room."

"Ooo, lucky you," I say teasingly as he opens another door.

His room definitely isn't a typical boy's room. It's nice and clean which is totally the opposite of any other guy's room I've been in. Even Paul's.

"Wow...not what I expect from a guy. Are you sure you aren't gay?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.

He laughs out loud and nods his head. "Yes, I'm absolutely sure," he replies.

"Uh huh," I say, smirking at him.

"No, I'm serious," he says, still laughing as he takes my hand. "Come on, let's go back outside."

"Okay," I say as he leads me outside and to a comfortable looking chair swing.

I sit down beside him and slip off my sandals, curling my legs up and resting my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

"Jesse, can I ask you something?" I say softly to him.

"Anything, Susannah," he replies, stroking my hair softly as we both look out at the horizon.

"Why...why do you like me? I was a complete bitch to you for no reason when we first met?" I ask him.

He's quiet for a moment before sitting up straight. I lift my head from his shoulder and look into his eyes. "Have you ever met someone who just...made you feel things you couldn't describe? Who you knew you wanted to be with when you first laid eyes on them?" he asks softly.

"I...I..." I stutter, not wanting to admit that I had.

"Well, that's how I felt when I first met you," he tells me, taking both my hands in his. "Well, when I first caught you staring at me before you got into your car that day."

I blush a little bit and look away from him but he reaches out and moves my chin so that I'm looking right back at him.

"I'm sorry I'm being so forward, Susannah," he says softly. "I just...can't help myself around you."

"It's alright Jesse," I reply, my voice almost lost in the wind.

"Now, can I ask you a question?" he asks me, smiling a little.

"You can ask me absolutely anything, Jesse. Doesn't mean I'll answer it though," I say coyly.

He laughs and shakes his head. "You're funny. Just one of the many things I love about you," he says, smiling. "Why were you so...mean when you met me? Why did you keep pushing me away?"

"I...I...I didn't...it scared me," I say finally.

"What scared you?" he pressed, moving a little closer to me.

"I guess...just, the feeling that I felt when I saw you...it felt wrong...so wrong," I mutter.

"But why? Why did it feel wrong?" he asks, his voice low and intense, his face getting closer to mine.

"It's hard to explain," I whisper.

"You can tell me," he insists, closing the distance between our faces and brushing his lips lightly over mine before pulling back and looking at me.

"I can't. Not yet," I say to him, softly yet firmly.

He's silent for a moment before nodding his head. "Of course. I understand," he says, reaching up and stroking my cheek.

"Do you? Really?" I ask him lightly, not wanting to ruin things between us...but I can't tell him about Paul...he would never look at me the same way again if I did.

"You will tell me when you're ready," he replies. "I have faith in that. I have faith in you querida."

I smile at him softly, the wind blowing through my hair softly as we swing back and forth.

Once again, there's silence between us and I find myself unable to take my eyes off of his lips.

He smirks and I guess he probably caught me looking at those lips...but even as I look back into his eyes, blushing, I can't keep my gaze from returning to his lips once again.

Before I know it, his lips are on mine. As he kisses me, that's when I realize...well, I've fallen for this guy. Hard.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Hey all, sorry for the wait, soooo here is an EXTRA long chapter Hope you enjoy!!

**Chapter 6**

"Come on, Susannah, we're going to be late for the movie," Jesse says to me, laughing as he sits on my bed 3 days later, waiting for me to finish up.

"Be patient, mister," I reply, peeking my head out of the bathroom and sticking my tongue out at him. For the past three days I've been spending every waking moment with Jesse. And when I'm not with him, I can't get him off my mind.

"We are going to be laaaaate. They get cranky when people come in laaatteeeeee," Jesse whines.

"Quit your complaining, de Silva, I'm ready," I reply, walking out of the bathroom after a moment.

"Great. Let's go, we're going to have to drive pretty fast," he says, twining his fingers with mine.

He practically pulls me out of the room so fast I have to reach and grab my purse before the door shuts behind me.

"I need to start telling you that the movie, or whatever, is half an hour earlier than it really is," Jesse teases.

"Shut up, Jesse," I reply, hitting his arm lightly and smiling. "You should know that it takes a woman longer to get ready than a man."

"Not all women. My sisters only take 4 hours," Jesse says.

"I did NOT take four hours!" I exclaim, stopping at his car and pulling my hand away from his, folding my arms over my chest.

"You're right, you took 6," Jesse whispers in my ear quickly before smirking at me and getting in his car.

I let out an exasperated sigh before getting into the car. "That is so unfair, Jesse de Silva," I tell him.

"Life, querida, is not always fair," Jesse purrs.

I can't help the shivers that run through my body when he says this. Just the way his voice sounds...it just makes me want to jump on him and start kissing him senseless.

"Not right now...we need to get to the movies," he says, as if reading my mind.

"But why?" I whine, leaning across the console and pressing my lips against his.

"Susannah, I'm driving," he mutters, even though the car is only inching.

I reach over and pull the keys out of the ignition. "Now you're not," I reply before kissing him again.

"Susannah...movie...very interesting...late," Jesse mutters as I lean across and kiss him.

"I heard it got bad reviews," I tell him, kissing him deeper and climbing into his lap.

"Mmmfffgghh," he grunts and I smirk before moving the seat back to give us more room.

"Your lips...are so...delicious," I mumble, kissing him over and over again.

"Mmmm," he moans, moving his hands up to my face as I slip my tongue into his warm, inviting mouth.

He slides his hands down my body and rests them on my hips, pulling me as close as possible to him.

"Your mother...Andy...your brothers," Jesse whispers in slight protest.

"Mom, Andy and David are out...Brad and Jake are probably still at the beach," I reply, slightly breathless.

"You sure?" Jesse murmurs softly, his hands at the edge of my shirt.

"Positive," I reply, kissing him once again, not able to keep my lips off his for even a minute.

"This car is a little small," Jesse says after another minute of intense making out.

"What do you suppose we do then?" I ask, pulling back and running my hands through his hair.

"I...I...really think we should go see that movie," Jesse says with apparent difficulty.

"You and I both know that we wouldn't be watching the movie," I reply, smirking down at him.

"But I think it might be safe...I don't want to rush into anything Susannah...the movie might keep us...honest," Jesse says softly.

I let out a sigh and nod my head. There's nothing honest about this relationship, this relationship that I shouldn't even be in. I still haven't told him about Paul.

"Let's get going," I say, leaning down and kissing him once more before moving back to my seat.

He reaches for my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing it softly. I give him a weak smile before turning my gaze to the passing landscape, my mind wandering.

"Susannah...do you really want to skip the movie that bad?" Jesse asks me after a few minutes.

"No," I reply, looking back over at him and smiling. "It'll be great." He doesn't seem convinced, though.

"Are you sure?" he asks warily.

"Yeah, I've just...got a lot on my mind," I reply, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

"Okay, as long as you're sure about it, querida," Jesse says softly.

I squeeze his hand again and nod my head. "I'm sure," I reply before the silence overtakes us.

He stops 3 minutes later in front of the only movie theatre in town, which has a crowd of younger people waiting outside.

Neither of us get out of the car and he looks over at me. "Did I do something to upset you, querida?" he asks softly. That's one of the many things I like about him: he gets right to the point.

"No...no you did absolutely nothing wrong, Jesse. It's just me, me and my thoughts," I say to him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks me, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

"I can't, Jesse...I'd tell you if I could...but I can't. I'm sorry," I whisper.

"It's all right," he replies, leaning over and kissing me softly. "Let's just go enjoy the movie, all right?"

"Okay," I say before getting out of the car and meeting him in front of it, clasping his hand with in mine.

The movie we see is a typical teen movie with a typical plot: girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with someone else, girl is sad, boy realizes he's loved girl all along, boy and girl live happily ever after. Nothing new.

The only good thing about the movie is that the movie theatre is nice and dark, which offers Jesse and me at least a little privacy.

We walk out of the theater hand in hand, receiving some wistful looks from some of the girls which makes me smile. That's right, he's amazing and he's all mine.

"Jesse! Over here!" I hear someone exclaim and he turns around, smiling in welcome as group of guys and girls walks over.

"Long time no see," one of the guys says, grinning at the both of us. "And who's this arm candy?"

"This is Susannah Simon, she's on vacation here, staying in the Gregory's place on the beach," Jesse says.

"Well isn't she pretty," another one of the guys says, looking at me intensely. Jesse pulls me a little closer to him.

"How dare you insult her like that. Calling her pretty. She is far more than pretty," Jesse says, and I blush slightly.

A couple of the girls let out a collective sigh. "God, he is so cute," one of them mutters and the other nods in agreement.

"So anyways...why don't you two come to this party I'm throwing at my place?" one of them says.

"You up for a party, querida?" he asks, looking over at me. I smile and nod my head. "I'm down for whatever," I reply.

"Okay. Yeah, we'd love to come along," Jesse replies, "We're going to go back to her house first, so she can change."

"Okay, you know where it is," the guy says, giving me a smile before they all walk away.

"Are you sure you're up for a party at Trake's house? He's a bit...wild," Jesse says, laughing.

I grin at him and reply, "I've been to quite a few wild parties in my time, Mr. de Silva."

"I believe it," Jesse says thoughtfully before opening my car door for me.

Before getting in, I lean up and kiss him softly. He smiles against my lips and kisses me again before I get in the car.

"You sure you just don't want to finish that at your place, instead of at some party?" Jesse asks me.

"Come on, Jesse, it'll be fun," I say to him as he starts the car.

"Okay. I'll take you home so you can change into something else, and then we'll leave. I'd suggest something with less material, it gets warm," Jesse informs me.

"Uh huh, sure. All you want is to get in my pants," I reply sarcastically. "Less fabric, less wasted time removing clothes."

"Now, now m'dear. If I wanted to get in your pants, I would tell you to wear nothing at all," Jesse says to me.

"Good point," I say, laughing as he rests his hand on mine. "Seriously though, some of Trake's parties can get out of control," he tells me.

"I assure you, I can handle it. I'm the life of the party, I'll let you know, in Carmel. Me and my best friends Kelly, Heather, and Debbie," I say.

He laughs and shakes his head as we pull up at my house. "All right, if you say so," he says.

"You'll just have to trust me, Jesse," I say, grinning at him before hopping out of the car and running to my door so that I don't have to go through the house.

Of course, he's behind me in no time flat, closing the door behind us. "Thought you could get away, did you?" he says, reaching out and grabbing me from behind.

"I have to change, you know," I tell him.

"But we can have a little fun first," he whispers, leaning down and kissing my neck.

"Aren't they...expecting us?" I whisper, not able to move because he has such a firm grasp on me. His chest is pressed firmly against my back, his arms wrapped around my small body and his large...large capable hands, well hand, grasping both of mine, so yeah, I can't move...but its not that bad really.

"They can wait," he says softly, his lips doing wonders on my neck. It's really hard to think straight right about now.

"What was that?" he mumbles as I let out a low moan, pushing stray hairs off of my neck, "Did you say something querida?"

"N-No," I practically whimper, my eyes fluttering closed and my knees about to give way.

"Because if you don't want this, we could stop..." Jesse says.

"Don't," I say, my voice high pitched and squeaky. "Don't stop."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Jesse whispers, his hand slowly letting go of mine, and then they both travel up my waist and to my breasts.

I let out a sound that sounds completely foreign and this seems to encourage him because suddenly, he turns me around and lifts my shirt over my head before kissing me.

"I guess...this helps with getting changed," I mumble against his lips.

"Definitely," he replies, his hands massaging my breasts through my bra.

"Now...do you plan on wearing a shirt that requires breast support?" Jesse asks me, his voice gruff.

"Absolutely not," I whisper breathily. He smirks and kisses me again. "Good," he mumbles against my lips.

I feel his hands drifting to my back and to the clasp holding my bra in place, trying to get it off.

Suddenly, against my will, Paul's face floats to the surface of my mind and I open my eyes, pushing Jesse away.

"I...I'm sorry," Jesse stutters in shock after I push him away.

"No, Jesse, I'm sorry," I say softly. Not knowing what else to say, I fumble around for my shirt, slipping it back over my head.

"I'll be right back, okay?" I say before walking into my large closet, shutting the door behind me.

I lean back against the door and take a deep breath, closing my eyes. Paul...how could I have forgotten about him?

I slowly take my bra off, throwing it in my wash bin and pulling my jeans off as well, walking over to my blouses and pulling a tight green long sleeved button up top, but the material was thin so I knew I wouldn't get too warm. I then walk to my skirts and take out a blue denim miniskirt, pulling that on as well before slipping my feet in some flip flops.

I step out of the closet and look over at Jesse who's staring down at his hands. I just kind of look at him for a few minutes, biting my lower lip guiltily. He's an amazing guy. I shouldn't be lying to him like this.

I run a brush through my hair before walking slowly over to him, taking his hands in mine and sitting down next to him.

He just sits there for a moment before whispering something so low I can't hear him. "What did you say, Jesse?" I ask, holding his hands a little tighter.

"Nothing...it was nothing querida. Let's get going...you look amazing," Jesse says softly.

I smile and lean forward, kissing him softly. "Thank you," I reply before standing up, pulling him up with me.

"He lives close enough to walk, if you want to. It would take about 15 minutes, or we could take the car and get there in about 2 minutes," Jesse says lightly.

"Let's walk," I reply after a moment. "I'd appreciate the time alone before we get to the party with all those people."

"I thought you were a party animal," Jesse says, grinning over at me.

"That doesn't mean I don't want to spend some time alone with my amazingly gorgeous boyfriend," I reply, smiling as we walk down the beach.

"Boyfriend?" Jesse asks casually, as if he had never thought about this before.

"Of course," I reply. "What did you think you were? Just a friend?"

"Well I didn't know if we were just...fooling around, or if we were actually dating, like well for lack of better term 'going steady'," Jesse says.

I let out a small laugh. "Are you gonna give me your pin?" I ask and he chuckles.

"Is this just a summer romance for you, querida? Are we still going to keep in touch after you leave?" he asks, his tone becoming serious again.

"Of course I am Jesse," I say quickly...maybe a little too quickly, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Good. Because...well, I've come to care about you, Susannah," he says, stopping and turning to me.

"Well I'd hope that you cared about me, otherwise I'd be questioning your motive all those times you gave me orchids," I say, giggling.

He laughs and leans down to kiss me before pulling back, looking like he wants to say more but stopping herself.

"Are you okay Jesse?" I ask him, worried by his off behavior.

"I'm fine, querida," he tells me, looking like he's struggling internally with something. Like before: he wants to say something but won't.

"Okay, let's keep walking or we'll never get to the party," I say, taking his hand and continuing down the beach.

"Yeah, they're probably wondering where we are," he says, squeezing my hand lightly.

We walk the rest of the way in peaceful silence, and I can immediately tell which house is holding the party by the extremely loud music resonating from inside.

He leads me over to the house, whispering, "Are you ready?" I smile at him and nod my head. "Totally," I reply.

"There they are!" Trake calls from the kitchen as we enter; at least I'm pretty sure he's Trake.

He has a tall blond hanging all over him and I'm immediately reminded of Kelly and Tad. This kind of makes me miss home a little.

"That's Ronnie, next to him, short for Veronica," Jesse whispers to me.

I nod at him as the two come over. "You must be Susannah!" Ronnie says, smiling. "Trake told me about you!"

"Please, call me Suze. Jesse is bullheaded and won't call me Suze like I want him to," I say, glaring up at Jesse.

"That's just because I think Susannah is a beautiful name," he tells me, bringing my hand up to his lips and kissing it. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl."

I blush and look away in embarrassment. I'm not blind, I catch a few of the glares I'm receiving from some of the girls before my eyes lower to the ground. They must have had a crush on Jesse before I came along.

"Aren't you sweet!" Ronnie exclaims, her shrill voice piercing my ears. Wow, I'm definitely going to need a drink if I'm going to have to endure that for the rest of the night.

As if reading my mind, Jesse squeezes my hand and leads me over to a large keg, but I let go of his hand and over to a liquor cabinet, my hand going straight to my favorite drink, vodka, of course.

"Wow," he says, chuckling as he walks over to me. "I would have never taken you for such a drinker." I smile at him and take a large swig.

"Jesse. I told you, I've been to a few parties in my days," I say, rolling my eyes.

He smiles and leans down to kiss me. "I'm really glad we came here tonight...I get to see a whole other side to you," he says, grinning.

"Or maybe just a side that's been me for the past 17 years of my life," I mutter to myself.

"Did you say something, querida?" Jesse asks, looking down at me and I shake my head.

"Do you see anyone here that you know?" I ask him, handing him the bottle for a second as he takes a slow drink.

"I know pretty much everyone," he tells me, pointing out a few people to me.

"Anyone worth talking to? Best friend? Ex-girlfriend?" I ask.

"Well, speaking of ex," he says in a low voice as a tall brunette saunters over to us.

"Hey Jesse...and Jesse's...friend," she says, giving me a once over before flipping her hair over her shoulder and angling herself so that she doesn't have to look at me.

"Maria, how nice to see you again," he says uncomfortably, pulling me a bit closer. "This is Susannah. My girlfriend."

"Oh...whatever. So, what have you been up to lately? I haven't seen you around town like I used to," she says.

"He's been with me," I say in a sharp tone, suddenly feeling very possessive over Jesse.

"I'm sorry, I thought I was addressing Jesse," Maria says in a voice too syrupy sweet.

"What concerns Jesse concerns me too," I reply, my voice cold as ice.

"DON'T call her that," Jesse says immediately, pulling me even closer. "Why don't you leave us alone, Maria."

"Whatever. You'll be knocking at my doorstep soon enough," she says flippantly before walking off.

"Querida, I'm sorry about her," Jesse says softly but I just shake my head.

"Don't worry about it...she actually reminds me of someone I know a little bit," I say, sighing.

"Really?" he asks, leading me over to just about the only empty couch and we sit down. "Who?"

"My best friend," I say sheepishly, "she could get like that a lot when she wanted to, so could I...as you saw when I first got here."

Thinking back on it now, just about all my friends back in Carmel are like Jesse's ex: extremely bitchy and...well...just plain mean. I remember once, they were picking on this albino girl at school...I think her name was Cee Cee. As a matter of fact, so was I.

"We can't do anything about the past...the only thing we can do is live our lives in the present, and prepare for the future," Jesse whispers.

He takes one of my hands in his as I look down. "I was an awful person, Jesse," I tell him, feeling the familiar alcohol buzz clouding my brain and I get a little emotional when I drink.

"It's all in the past, querida, let's just have fun tonight," Jesse says before leaning in and kissing me hard on the mouth.

I let out a moan and kiss him beck, sliding my arms around his neck, all thoughts of Carmel gone from my mind.

"Get a room," someone mutters as they pass by us.

"Mmmm, maybe we should," Jesse mumbles against my lips as his hand slips under my shirt, resting on my back.

"Jesse...not here. Anyways...the night hasn't even started," I say, smiling wickedly.

He grins back and kisses me again when someone calls his name, "Hey Jesse! Come here!" He pulls back and gives me an apologetic smile. "I'll be back," he whispers, kissing me quickly before standing up.

I smile back at him before picking up my vodka again, taking a long swig and then wiping my mouth clean. I stand up slowly and look around for a bathroom, because I have to REALLY pee and I'd rather not interrupt my time with Jesse.

"Hey," I hear a voice behind me and I spin around, vaguely recognizing the guy. "You're Jesse's friend, right?"

"Yeah, his girlfriend," I say warily as I finally spot what I think is the bathroom.

He starts to say something else but I interrupt as politely as I can before walking away.

I'm about halfway to the bathroom when I feel a hand on my arm, not roughly or anything, but it takes me by surprise, "Hey, hey, hey, I wasn't finished talking to you," he says, and his voice is congenial, but I don't like the look in his eyes.

"Well, I was done talking to you," I say, pulling my arm from his grasp before turning around and walking away again. I remember now. He's the guy who called me pretty back at the movies. I didn't like the look in his eyes back then either.

I quickly make my way through the crowd again, the slight buzz in my head not helping things much.

"Hey, that was rude," the guy says and, once again, I feel his hand on my arm.

"Please...just let me go," I say, trying to get my arm free.

"I want something first," he says, his voice low as his eyes linger to my lips.

"No. Go to Maria or whatever her name was...she'd probably let you," I say firmly.

He doesn't say anything and a moment later, I feel his lips on mine. I'm about to bring my hand up and smack him, but he's suddenly ripped away from me.

I gasp as I recognize the first pummeling into his face as Jesse's fist. I've actually never seen him make a fist before...or be this mad...it's sort of hot on him.

"Don't...you...touch...her...again!" Jesse exclaims, punching the guy between each word. Okay, it looks REALLY hot.

I bite my lip softly, waiting for Jesse to finish, not really trying to get him off of the guy at all.

After one final punch in the face, Jesse turns to me. "Let's get out of here," he says to me, his voice low and I nod my head.

He puts his arm protectively around me, grabbing a new bottle of vodka to bring with us as a last thought.

We walk in silence until we find a secluded place on the beach. He sits down in the sand and pulls be down with him. "Are you all right, querida?" he asks softly.

"Yeah...I'm fine, just a little pissed off...but also turned on. You look hot when you're furious," I say.

I don't even care that what I just say is completely embarrassing because after I said it, Jesse kisses me passionately, sliding his arms around me and pulling me as close as humanly possible.

"Mmm, yummy," I say as he pulls back for air a minute later, gazing deeply into my eyes. I giggle a little bit and put the vodka bottle to my lips.

"So are you," he whispers, kissing me again and again and again. I just want him to keep on kissing me.

"Are you getting sand in your clothes?" he asks me softly, "Because we could go someplace else..."

"Where did you have in mind?" I reply, my face still close to his.

"My place, your place, wherever you want, as long as I'm with you," Jesse whispers.

I sigh and smile at him, brushing a piece of hair out of his face. "You're sweet, Jesse," I whisper.

"I'm also drunk, try not to take TOO much advantage of me," he teases.

"Okay, I'll try," I tell him, pressing my lips against his for a moment before pulling back. "I can't make any promises though because I am just a liiiiiiiittle bit drunk."

"I can tell," he says, chuckling as he stands up slowly before leaning down and pulling me up as well.

"Let's go to my place," I say, taking my hand in his and walking with him in the direction of my house.

"Are your parents home?" he asks me, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind again and I laugh as I try to awkwardly walk along.

"I don't think so, but if they are, they're probably in bed so we gotta be quiet," I tell him, pressing a finger to my lips and laughing.

"Why not my place then? My sisters are at camp, and my parents are out of the country on business," Jesse suggests.

"Your place it is then," I reply and I giggle as we both spin around together and start walking in the opposite direction.

"Be careful, there are a few loose stones up here," Jesse warns me as we make our way through his backyard and to the door.

"Okay," I reply as we walk carefully up the stone steps together and into the house, straight up to his room. Maneuvering up the stairs was...not a pleasant thing.

Well actually, Jesse makes it seem quite easy. It's me who it's no pleasant for. I have to constantly grasp at the railing as I stumble, embarrassingly enough.

But finally, we're in his room and I'm in his arms, kissing him wildly. I like this a lot better than any party.

We stumble back to his perfectly made full sized bed and he picks me up in his strong, capable arms before lowering me down onto the soft comforter.

We keep kissing and kissing until he pulls back. "Susannah, I want to tell you something," he whispers.

"Tell me anything," I purr, running my foot up and down his leg.

He closes his eyes for a moment and lets out a deep breath before opening them again. "I love you," he says slowly.

I blink slowly as he says this...this must be what he had been choking on earlier, the words I mean. I open and close my mouth a few times, wanting to give him not only the perfect answer...but also the perfect answer that comes from my heart.

"You don't have to say it back," he says in a rush. "I just...wanted you to know."

"I've...I've always been, I don't know...slower to say this. I want to mean it 5000 when I say it to you Jesse," I say slowly.

He nods his head and cups my face in his hands. "I know," he whispers. "I just...couldn't keep it inside anymore."

"I'm glad you didn't," I say softly, smiling at him.

He smiles back and leans forward to kiss me. Much like the first time we kissed, fireworks explode inside of me like the fourth of July.

His lips leave me trembling in pleasure wherever they touch; my lips, my jaw, all down my neck...

As he keeps kissing my neck, his hands slip under my shirt, his cold hands feeling wonderful on my suddenly scorching skin.

"You smell...and taste...so good," he murmurs, but his words run together a little bit. It doesn't matter though, I could tell what Jesse was saying if he were speaking Chinese by the tone of his voice.

"Oh my god, Jesse," I whisper breathlessly, closing my eyes and tilting my head back to give him better access to my neck. All of my senses seem to be on hyper drive tonight because each kiss feels better than the last.

Suddenly I feel his hand massaging my breast and I gasp, remembering that I'm not wearing a bra.

"Does that feel good, querida?" he asks but I'm unable to speak, unable to breathe. Yes, it does feel EXTEMELY good.

Instead, a small noise comes out my mouth...something between a moan and a squeak.

He chuckles and looks up at me. "I'll take that as a yes," he says.

And then without any other words being spoken, I feel him rip my shirt open, a few buttons flying into the air.

He mumbles a bunch of Spanish words under his breath. I don't know what they mean, but they sound like music to my ears.

He pulls me into his arms and, for lack of better word, attacks me. His lips latch to my collarbone and I feel his teeth scraping against the sensitive skin as he pulls my shirt off of me.

I can't get enough of it, any of it: his lips, his touch, the little Spanish words he mumbles in-between kisses. He's driving me absolutely crazy with passion and desire

A whimper of desire escapes my throat again and again as I move my hands so that they're tangled in his short, dark hair.

"Do you know what you do to me, Jesse?" I say in a breathless whisper, arching my back as he sucks on my nipple.

He chuckles and then I feel a hand between my legs and I yelp out in surprise and pleasure. He removes it seconds later, though, and chuckles, "Yes I do," he murmurs.

"Why...why'd you take your hand away?" I whisper, resting my forehead against his and looking into his eyes.

"So that I could understand what I do to you," he says, smirking.

"Well, now that we've established that," I whisper, kissing him over and over again.

A low growl escapes his lips as his fingers slip through the belt loops in my skirt, pulling it swiftly down. I hadn't even realized that it was unzipped.

Okay, I think it's confession time: Paul and I have never gotten this far. I know, we've been dating for over a year and you'd think we have but we haven't.

We'd been very, very close to getting this far, for example when I was in my bathing suit, which I was quite often, but it just...never happened, mostly because of me.

And now, thinking about Paul, who I've loved for over a year, I don't know why I'm letting Jesse, who I practically just met, get this far.

"N...N...Jesse, No...you have, you have to stop. It's too soon," I whisper as he moves to slip his hand underneath my panties.

He looks up at me with those heavily-lidded eyes, breathing deeply. "You...you..." he stammers, moving back a little. "Susannah, I don't know what your life was like back in California or why you keep telling me to stop but it's not because it's too soon and you know it."

I frown softly, not because I'm mad at him, but because I know he's starting to become more and more curious with my life in Carmel.

"Why can't you tell me?" he asks, reaching for my hand.

"There...there's more to this than you think, Jesse...more than you could ever possibly think," I mumble.

"You can tell me," he says softly, moving a bit closer. "I've been through quite a bit myself. I can handle it."

I simply shake my head in protest, biting my lip softly before leaning over the side of the bed and grabbing my shirt, buttoning it up as best as I can.

My hands are shaking so madly, though, that I just give up and move to pull up my skirt. "I should go," I whisper.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head, "I'll walk you home," he whispers.

"No I...I just want to be alone," I say softly, standing up and looking for my shoes.

"Okay," he replies and I don't wait for him to say anything else, I quickly walk out.

I take my time walking home, thinking and crying the whole time. Why does stupid Paul have to take over my brain every time I start to get a little farther with Jesse?

Wait...what am I thinking? Stupid Paul? I love him! I love him so, so much, so much more than I could ever even love Jesse.

Then why the hell am I even with Jesse? What do we even have? He just told me he loved me tonight and...well...I don't know.

Feeling extremely guilty, I pick up my phone as soon as I walk in my room and call up Paul.

"Hello?" he answers after a few rings. I clap my hand over my mouth to stifle a sob.

"Suze? Is that you?" he asks.

"Yeah, yeah it's me," I reply softly, swallowing my sobs and calming myself down.

"Hey baby, how are you?" Paul asks in that smooth voice of his.

"I'm great, how are you," I ask, smiling at the sound of his voice.

"I'm about as good as I can be when you're not around," he says and I feel my heart drop immediately.

"I miss you too," I reply, pressing the phone closer to my ear. "So, so much."

"Look on the bright side, you only have a little over a month there, and then you'll be back in my arms..." Paul says, "Hey, I haven't talked to you on the webcam lately, why don't you get on?"

"Sure," I reply before hanging up and buttoning up my shirt. I don't want him to see me so...disheveled. He'll think...God, I don't even want to think about what he'll think.

Rethinking the shirt when I see a missing button, I switch it for a pale pink button up instead before going to my computer.

"Hey babe," he says, grinning and my heart melts. "You're every bit as gorgeous as I remember."

"Me? Gorgeous? Nahh, you're the gorgeous one," I tease, finding it quite easy to act how I normally act around him.

He just chuckles and shakes his head. "God, I miss you Suze," he says.

"I miss you too," I coo, frowning as I realize that I'm speaking the truth. I really do miss him.

"Something wrong, babe?" he asks, frowning. I let out a sigh and shake my head.

"Nothing," I reply.

"You look tired, have you had a long day? It's what...midnightish there?" Paul asks, leaning forward a little bit.

"A little past," I tell him, letting out a yawn. He frowns a little and says, "You should get to bed."

"But I want to stay here with you," I say softly.

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep," he whispers. "Just like I will when you get back."

"I might press weird keys if I fall asleep on the keyboard," I say, giggling, "how about you call me, and I can lie down, and you can talk to me until I fall asleep?"

"Sounds good...talk to you in a sec," he says and I turn off the webcam as my phone rings a few moments later.

"Hey baby," I murmur into the phone, "hold on just a second, I have to get out of these clothes."

"Wish I could be there for that," he says and I laugh a little.

"God, you perv," I reply.

"Yes, I am a perv, and I'm proud of it. I'm perving on your body, baby," Paul says, and I can hear the smirk in his sexy voice.

"Stop it," I say, giggling as I take off my skirt and pull on a pair of shorts. "You're making me miss you even more."

"That's my goal," he says in a teasing voice and I put the phone on speaker before setting it down, that way it's easier for me to take my shirt off.

"How are things in Carmel?" I ask, throwing on a tank top and putting my hair into a ponytail before picking up the phone again.

"Dull. There haven't been any good parties lately. Kelly, Heather, and Debbie are still...well, Kelly, Heather, and Debbie. Now...I'm not supposed to tell you this...but they're planning a huge welcome home party for you...I wanted you to know just in case you decided to wear pajamas on the plane to be comfortable," Paul says, chuckling.

"That sounds just like them," I say, giggling and falling back onto the bed. "It's really beautiful here. I just wish you could be here with me."

"I know...me too. I'm half tempted just to fly up there right now in gramps' private jet," Paul says.

I laugh a little and close my eyes. "I'm really tired, Paul," I mumble.

"Just close you eyes and relax, take a deep breath in and a deep breath out, I'll be here until you fall asleep," Paul says gently.

I smile a little and nod my head. "Good night, Paul," I whisper.

"Night baby...I love you," he whispers back and I murmur that I love him too before falling into a deep sleep...filled with dreams of Jesse.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note**: Thank you for the reviews Here's the next chapter

**Chapter 7**

"Where, Mr. de Silva, are you taking me?" I ask Jesse as we drive in his car around St. Croix, enjoying this gorgeous August day. He just smiles over at me and shakes his head. "It's a surprise," he tells me. We've been spending every single moment together since I have to leave in a few days.

"A surprise? I'm no good with those," I say, frowning a little bit, but Jesse merely smiles and brings my hand up to his lips, kissing it softly.

My frown quickly forms into a smile and I squeeze his hand. Ever since that night a few weeks ago, he hasn't pressed me about my life in Carmel. He said he just wants to "enjoy what little time we have left together".

I can tell though, sometimes, that he wishes I would be more open with him, but that's pretty much out of the question at this point...I'm too far gone to do something so stupid that might risk what we have.

Every minute we spend together, I fall more and more in love with him. I haven't told him yet though. If I tell him, leaving will just be that much harder.

As it is, my mom has come into my room countless times, well the times that I'm not with Jesse, only to see me sobbing my eyes out on the bed.

Every time she asks what's wrong, I simply tell her I don't want to leave but it's more than that. It's so, so much more than that.

My mother's been more than sympathetic with me...she wants me to be happy, I know this...and I think she knows that I would give up my life in Carmel in an instant to be here with Jesse, but she can't let me stay, she loves me too much to let me go, and she has a life back in Carmel to go back to.

I know I shouldn't even be thinking this, but...I think I love Jesse more than I love Paul. Whenever I look into Jesse's eyes, love is looking back at me. I feel so horrible for what I'm doing to him, what I'm doing to the both of them.

If you had told me, 3 months ago, that I would be cheating on my boyfriend with some guy living on an island, I would have laughed in your face and told you that you were crazy...but look at me now.

"Penny for your thoughts, querida?" he asks, glancing over at me before returning his attention to the road.

"Pay up," I say, winking, "I'm a money first type of girl." He laughs and digs around in his pocket, pulling out a dime. I gasp, looking surprised, "My, my, a DIME!"

He chuckles and asks, "Okay, you have your dime, now what's on your mind?"

"3 days from now I'm going to be on a plane to Carmel, California," I say, my voice barely audible over the sound of the car.

He gets quiet and just squeezes my hand. Moments pass in silence until he says, "We can always call each other, or email. And you know that if you need me, I'll be on the first plane out."

"Calls and emails...they're so, I don't know...informal. I still won't be able to hold you, to kiss you," I say.

"There's always next summer," he says, kissing my hand softly. "When you're gone, there won't be a moment that goes by when I won't think about you."

"Ne...Next summer? Jesse, that's a year! A year without seeing you!" I exclaim.

"At least it isn't forever," he says, looking over at me and sighing.

"I guess you're right," I reply.

Silence falls over us and he pulls the car over, stopping it and looking over at me. "It'll be all right, querida," he says softly, reaching out and placing his hand on my cheek.

"I'm trying to keep an optimistic look on things, I really am Jesse," I say softly, tracing the lines on his hand.

He smiles and leans forward to kiss me. "So am I, querida," he whispers. "So am I."

"So...guess what today is," he says after kissing me a couple more times.

"What?" I ask, pulling back and smiling at him.

"Today happens to be our one month anniversary," Jesse says, grinning at me, and I gasp.

"Oh my God!" I exclaim, my face lighting up. "How could I have forgotten? I'm sorry, Jesse."

"It's all right, I didn't expect you to remember," Jesse says softly.

I smile up at him and kiss him softly. "So is that what the surprise is for?" I ask.

"Yes. First though, you are going to have to change into something else. So go into the trunk and take out what is in there," Jesse instructs me.

I smile and nod my head, hurrying out of the car and to the trunk which he opened already. I quickly open the box, my jaw dropping when I see what's inside.

"Jesse! No way!" I exclaim, pulling out the black cocktail dress, embroidered delicately with black beads.

He gets out of the car, grinning from ear to ear. "I'm glad you like it," he says, walking up to me, seeming taken aback when I throw my arms around him.

I sigh as I breathe him in before pulling back, blushing a little, "Where do I change?" I ask.

"Uhm...okay, you might not go for this," he says, laughing and reaching into the trunk, taking out a blanket.

"Uhm...I...hide under the blanket?" I ask, frowning.

"I'll hold up the blanket so that no one will see," he says, grinning sheepishly. "And I promise I won't look."

"What if someone drives by and sees?" I ask nervously.

"Hardly anyone drives in St. Croix," he tells me, giving me a small smile.

"Okay...but no peeking. Do you promise?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'll be a good boy, querida, I promise," he says, smiling and kissing me quickly.

"How do I know I can trust you? As you just said, you ARE a boy," I say as he holds up the blanket.

"You'll just have to take a leap of faith," he says, giving me a smile and kissing my cheek.

"Okay, now put the blanket up higher," I tell him, turning to face the blanket, so that way I can see if he tries to peek.

He does as I ask, still smiling. "And close your eyes," I tell him, smirking.

"Yes ma'am," he says and I quickly begin to undress, first removing my shorts and then my shirt.

I quickly step into the dress, trying but failing to zipper the back. "Uhm, Jesse," I say, still struggling. "A little help?"

"I thought I couldn't look or lower this blanket," Jesse says, and I can tell he's smirking. I sigh and quickly remove my bra; I can't wear it since the dress is strapless, and then walk around the blanket, holding the dress up and turning my back to Jesse.

"Jesse," I repeat and he turns around, laughing before slowly zippering the dress, pressing a kiss to my bare shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't need me to take the dress OFF?" Jesse asks me, smiling innocently.

"And let this lovely dress go to waste?" I reply, turning around and smirking at him before backing up a few steps. "How do I look?"

"You look breathtaking. The island pales in comparison to your beauty," Jesse says, making me blush.

"You're sweet," I reply, smiling at him and I swear the look in his eyes makes me want to scream how much I love him.

"Well, now I have to change. So, would you kindly put the blanket up?" Jesse says, smirking, as he grabs a dress shirt and tie and a pair of nice pants from the trunk.

"Of course," I reply, taking the blanket from him and holding it up, closing my eyes and smiling.

After approximately 3 seconds, I hear him pull down the zipper on his jeans and I get a little curious.

I open one eye a little to see him pulling off his jeans and he's oblivious to the fact that I can see him and oh my god I WANT him.

I bite my lip softly and move over just a liiittle bit more until the blanket isn't really obstructing my view anymore.

"Hey!" Jesse snaps and I quickly shut my eyes, suppressing the urge to giggle.

A second later I feel his hands over mine on the blanket and he gently pries it from my fingers. I open my eyes in curiosity to see Jesse in nothing, absolutely nothing...but his boxers.

I feel my breath hitch as he just looks into my eyes, his intense gaze seeing more than just me. Seeing my heart and my soul.

He moves my hands until they're both around his waist, a small smirk always on his face. It should be his trademark or something.

I smirk back at him and let me tell you, it's so hard, not telling him how much I love him. Fortunately, he makes all speech impossible as he covers my lips with his.

A small whimper escapes my throat as I pull him closer to me, my arms wrapped insanely tight around his muscular abdomen.

I can tell he likes it when I do this because he pulls me closer and closer until our bodies are pressed together, no air between us.

I move my lips away from his and to his sculpted shoulder, kissing it lightly before moving down a little bit until I reach his nipple.

"Susannah," he says, though it sounds more like a moan. I look up at him and smile.

"What?" I ask, moving to kiss his chest again.

"I have reservations for 8," he says and it sounds like the last thing he wants to do is stop.

"Okay...you should probably finish getting ready then," I say softly.

"We'll finish this later?" he asks, smiling as I pick up the blanket. I smile and kiss him softly. "Of course," I reply.

"Good...now if you'll excuse me I have to change," he says, and I smile before folding the blanket and putting it in the trunk.

In a few minutes, we're on our way to...well, wherever we're going and I nearly jump out of my skin as my phone starts ringing.

"Who is it?" Jesse asks, bringing my hand up to his lips to kiss it once again.

I bite my lip as I see Paul's number flashing on the screen. Taking a deep breath, I silence it and turn to Jesse, smiling. "No one," I tell him.

"Okay. We're almost there, I hope you're hungry," Jesse says, and a minute later we pull into a small parking lot.

"I am," I reply, smiling and leaning across the console to kiss him.

He smiles back and says, "Good," before kissing me again.

"Jesse...reservations," I say, giggling when we haven't moved 3 minutes later.

"Right, right...you're just so distracting," he says, laughing and kissing me again before getting out and hurrying to open the door for me.

The dinner goes perfectly...except for the fact that Paul calls me about 2 more times within the next hour and a half.

By the third time he calls, Jesse chuckles but looks a little frustrated. "Who is it? Tell them to stop interrupting us!" he exclaims, still chuckling as he takes the phone from my hands.

"I'll do it!" I exclaim, laughing as I take it, "Please, I want to be the one to yell at them. Excuse me." I'm so glad that the panic didn't come out, even though it was threatening to.

I give him a smile and go into the ladies room as I answer it, "Hello?"

"Hey baby, I've been trying to get a hold of you, I thought something was wrong," Paul says worriedly into the phone.

"Oh no, nothing's wrong," I say, my voice rising a little in panic. That was way too close. "Nothing at all."

"Okay...well, I was just calling to say I love you, and I'll be at the airport waiting for you on Sunday," Paul says.

I lean against the wall and close my eyes. "I can't wait," I tell him. "Listen, I've got to go. I'll see you Sunday. Bye." As I hang up I can hear him saying that he loves me, making my heart break.

Why did I have to kiss Jesse that day? Why did I ever have to accept that date from him? Paul was such a good guy, so loyal, and he understood my needs...how could I do this to him?

I sigh and open the door a little, looking at Jesse. Jesse. Even his name is making my heart go crazy in my chest. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Who was it, querida?" Jesse asks as I sit down across from him.

"Just...a friend from back home," I say, giving him a smile to cover up my anguish.

He reaches for my hand and squeezes it softly. "You must really miss it," he replies.

"Yeah...I guess," I say softly.

"Are you okay, querida?" he asks, looking into my eyes, a frown on his face.

"I'll be all right," I say, giving him a small smile.

"Well, I hope so, because the night has only just begun," he says to me in a low voice as the waiter brings us the check.

He reaches out and slips a few bills in it before I can protest. I've always hated being paid for.

"Tonight is all about you," he says, smiling and standing up. "Come on. I have another surprise for you."

"Okay," I say, taking his hand and standing up as well. He leans down and kisses me softly, smiling down at me before taking me out to the car.

We drive in silence, perfect, wonderful silence. When he stops the car, I have to admit, I have no idea where we are.

"Jesse...where are we?" I ask, looking around, but I can't see anything.

"You'll see," he says, getting out of the car and coming around to my side, opening the door for me.

"Well, well, someone is Mr. Mysterious tonight," I say, giggling.

He just smiles at me and kisses me softly before leaving my side, whispering that he'll be right back.

I sigh and lean back against the car, looking off in both directions. After about 5 minutes, he still hasn't come back and I'm starting to worry a little. I take the flashlight out of the glove box, then, and start walking in the direction he left in.

"Jesse?" I call, frowning a bit when he doesn't respond. "Jesse where are you?"

A white thing lies in the middle of the road, something that I would recognize in a second, something that normally wouldn't be there.

I quickly lean down and pick it up, a smile forming on my lips as something on the flower catches my eye.

"Go straight ahead and keep going until you reach the gas station," it says in Jesse's scrawl.

I laugh a little and shine the flashlight ahead a little, seeing the gas station off in the distance. Thank god I'm not wearing heels.

I jog up to it, and my eye immediately spots the next orchid, lying on the ground by an unused gas pump. I quickly pick it up to see what he has written.

"Good job, querida. Now, go to the restaurant where we had dinner with our families that night. It's not too far," it says and I sigh, heading off in the direction of the restaurant. I pretty much know my way around this island by now.

It takes me about a 7 minute walk to get there, and when I do I walk inside and the seating hostess smiles at me before reaching under her podium, handing me another orchid.

I smile back and thank her before walking out of the restaurant and reading the note.

"There's only 3 more left, hang in there. Head to your house, go to your bedroom, change into something more casual, and put on your pink flip flops..." it says and I smirk.

I quickly go back to the house and change into a jean skirt and pink tank top before slipping my feet into my pink flip flops, smiling and leaning down to pick up the orchid beside them.

I finger its soft petals delicately, not wanting to harm it, as I take the other ones from my purse and put them in my vase.

"Okay, Jesse," I say softly to myself, sitting down on the bed. "What's next?" "Go to the place we first kissed," it simply says and I smile.

I put it also into the vase before jogging out onto the beach and I keep going until I reach the spot I fell asleep at that one day.

There's another orchid there and I sigh, leaning down to pick it up, a smile on my face as I read the note: "Look behind you."

A small smirk forms on my face as I turn around, seeing Jesse standing there with a smile on his face that I know is only for me.

"This is for you," he says, handing me yet another orchid and a long box. "Happy anniversary, querida."

"Jesse...you really didn't have to," I say, gasping as I take it from him.

"I know, but I wanted to," he says softly, still smiling at me. "Because I love you, Susannah. You know I do."

"I know Jesse..." I say, sighing softly and bringing the orchid to my nose before putting it in my hair and opening the box.

I nearly drop it when I see what's inside and tears fill my eyes. It's a beautiful necklace with a heart-shaped locket that has the words, "Te amo, querida," engraved on the back. I let out a shaky breath and close my eyes, allowing the tears to fall.

"What's the matter, Susannah...do you not like it?" Jesse asks me softly.

"No, Jesse, I love it, but..." I trail off, wiping away some of the tears and mumbling, "God, what have I done?"

"What?" Jesse asks, moving closer to me, "Susannah, what is the matter?"

I say nothing, just push the necklace back into his hands and take the orchid out of my hair, giving it back to him before running away.

"Susannah!" I hear him cry but I don't stop, I keep running.

He loves me. He really loves me. I mean, I've known this but tonight it just hit me like a ton of bricks. He loves me and I'm lying to him, hurting him.

I reach my bedroom, stumbling over to my bed, but collapsing on the floor before I can reach it.

My heart is pounding inside my chest and I feel like I'm choking on my tears but I can't stop. I'm hurting him. I love him but I'm hurting him and he doesn't even know it.

I feel a breeze going throughout my room and I look up, seeing Jesse standing in my doorway, out of breath.

"Susannah, tell me what's wrong!" he exclaims, kneeling down on the floor beside me.

"Go away Jesse...go away. Stay away from me I'll only...I'll only..." I exclaim, sobbing.

"You'll only what?" he asks softly, moving to hold me in his arms but I move away from him, shaking my head.

"I'll only end up loving you more than I do now," I sob, not able to look him in the eyes.

"What?" he whispers in surprise. A small, incredulous smile appears on his face. "You...love me? Why is that a bad thing?"

"I'll only end up hurting you," I cry, putting my head in my hands.

"How could you hurt me, Susannah?" he exclaims, moving closer to me, about to say more when I stand up shakily, nearly running into the bathroom and closing the door. I lean my head against the door and let all my tears fall from my eyes.

This summer has been the best and worst summer of my life. Jesse is one of the greatest people I have ever met, if not THE greatest, and he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to be lied to.

I stare at myself in my mirror, glaring at the girl looking back at me. She doesn't deserve Jesse...she's bitch, she cheats on her boyfriend...she doesn't deserve the love of such an amazing man.

She's the girl who has everything. One of the popular girls who picks on ones lower than her on the social ladder. And really, she's only that girl because Paul Slater's her boyfriend. Well, this is karma coming to bite her in the ass.

Minutes and minutes pass before I exit the bathroom and when I do...I wish that I hadn't come out.

Jesse's sitting on the bed, his eyes glued to the computer screen where an email from Paul fills the screen. The look in his eyes...I don't even want to think about it.

"Jesse...?" I ask softly, not wanting to go any further.

"I can't wait to see you on Sunday, gorgeous," he says softly, reading the email. "It's been way too long. Love you, Paul."

"And there are several more like it," he tells me, still not looking at me. "I suppose it was him that was calling at dinner. And he's the reason you wouldn't give me the time of day when you first got here. Am I right?"

"Jesse...I, I can explain everything," I whisper softly.

"I think I pretty much figured it out on my own," he says, standing up but not walking over to me. "You have a boyfriend back home...and when you leave here, you'll go back to him and forget all about me." He stays quiet for a moment before glaring at me. "Did I get it right?"

"No, not at all Jesse," I say immediately.

"Then what?" he says angrily. "What am I to you? Just...Just someone you fool around with before going back to your REAL boyfriend? The one you REALLY love?"

"I love YOU Jesse!" I cry, running up to him quickly.

"No, Susannah," he says, backing away from me and shaking my head. "Did you think you could really get away with this? Spend the summer with me, make me think that you actually CARED about ME and expect me to never find out? How could you...I can't even look at you right now, Susannah."

"Jesse...please, let me explain," I sob, walking up to him and putting my hand on his arm.

He just pulls his arm away and shakes his head. "I thought I knew you," he whispers. "But I guess not."

"You do know me! You know me better than anyone else that I know, Jesse!" I exclaim.

He just shakes his head again and turns to leave. "Jesse, please!" I exclaim but he just walks away without turning back.

I cry out as he slams my sliding door shut, tears streaming down my miserable face.

I hear my door open behind me and my mother's concerned voice, "Susie? Are you okay?"

"I...I'm fine mom...I'll be...I'll..." I say, not able to finish my sentence.

In a moment, I feel her helping me up onto the bed as I cry pathetic, devastated tears. "Come on, Susie, tell me what's wrong," she says softly.

"I screwed things up with Jesse really bad," I whisper.

She sighs and pulls me into her arms, softly stroking my hair. "It'll be all right," she says soothingly. "That boy really loves you. It'll work itself out."

"How could I do this to him? To Paul?" I cry softly.

"You can't help the way you feel," she tells me. "Your feelings for Jesse run deep, deeper than they do for Paul." I start to protest but she shakes her head. "I've seen the way you look at him, Susie," she says, smiling. "It's the way I used to look at your father."

This only makes me erupt in more tears, my mom's shirt soaked through by now, but I can't stop.

I spend the rest of the night just crying in her arms until we both realize that it's nearly one in the morning. "You only have two days left, Susie," she tells me. "Don't waste them sitting in your room crying. I'll see you in the morning, sweetie."

"Thank you mom," I whisper before crawling under my covers.

She softly closes the door and I just stare at the computer screen, at Paul's words. I try to think about him as I fall asleep, but my thoughts turn to Jesse and it's his face that I see in my dreams.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry for the wait

A/N: Sorry for the wait! Here's the next chapter without any ado hope you enjoy!!

Disclaimer: we own nothing…

**Chapter 8**

I try to do as my mom asks the next day and not stay locked up in my room...but it's hard, it's nearly impossible, for every time I walk out of the room I start crying again.

I go to the beach with Jake and Brad but just sit on the blanket, trying not to cry. Everything reminds me of Jesse. Every voice I hear is his. Every face I see is his. I can't get him out of my head.

Brad doesn't know about Jesse...thank god, otherwise he would have told Paul immediately, but I have made sure that he has never seen me with Jesse, and he thinks we are only good friends.

When we go back to the house at dinner time, I just skip dinner and go right to my room, putting on some music and just sitting in bed. I can't seem to look at anything but the vase full of the orchids Jesse's given me over the summer.

Even though the house has air conditioning, it never seems to cool my room, and I can't take the heat, so I get up and open my sliding door, letting the muggy August breeze come into my room. I feel the intense humidity instantly, but it feels better than the stifling hot.

I close my eyes and try to sleep for a little while, but it isn't working. Every time I get close to falling asleep, I either get a phone call or an IM or something. I just ignore it all. I don't feel like talking to anyone, especially my friends from back home.

No one seems to catch on that I don't want to talk to them, though, so finally I get up and I slam my laptop shut, thinking about tearing it from the wall, but I know that would be stupid...reckless.

Half of me is hoping that Jesse will show up at my door. Whether it's to yell at me, to tell me he loves me, to tell me he hates me, I don't care, as long as I can see him again.

I get up weakly and walk into my closet, taking off my clothes from last night; I haven't bothered changing, and putting on a thin nightgown...something not so stifling.

I go into the bathroom and wash my face, trying to avoid actually looking at myself, looking at the face of the girl who hurt Jesse de Silva, someone who does not deserve to be hurt.

I quickly wash my face, wanting to get rid of the mascara stains that have shown up since I last put it on a few hours ago.

When I walk out of the bathroom and stare around my room, I realize that for the first time in months, I am completely and totally...alone. I almost always had Jesse with me since the beginning of the summer (even when I refused to talk to him, he was here) and now he's just...gone.

I slowly sit down on the edge of my bed, blinking away the tears that keep falling. They keep falling and they won't stop.

I look down at my hands, gasping as I see someone kneel in front of me, their hands coming up to my face and wiping my tears.

Sweat and tears glisten my face as I look up into Jesse's face, and for a second I don't believe that he's really here.

For a minute or two, we both just sit there in silence until I whisper, "You...you came."

"How could I stay away?" he replies simply.

"I...I hurt you," I say softly, more tears gathering in my eyes. "I hurt you, Jesse; I'm so...so..."

"Shhh...I know," he whispers.

I lean forward and rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes. "I meant what I said yesterday," I tell him. "I really do love you."

"I know," he repeats.

"But you shouldn't be here," I say, shaking my head but not moving away. "You should leave. Before I hurt you even more."

"I can't...I can't leave you, I love you too, too much to leave you, to hurt you like I did last night," he says softly, cupping my face in his hands.

"I probably hurt you more than you hurt me," I say, starting to babble. "You did nothing but love me and I've been lying to you since day one. I should have told you about Paul sooner."

"To tell you the truth? I don't think it would have made any difference," Jesse says.

"I know, but..." I say, trailing off and sighing.

He just looks at me and says, "Look...we don't have much time left together. We shouldn't waste it. We should make the most of it."

"Jesse...I love you, so much...but I can't love you and be with him at the same time," I whisper, looking down at the floor.

He gently lifts my chin so that I'm looking into his deep brown eyes. "I can," he says simply before pressing his lips against mine.

A whimper escapes my throat as he moves his hand to my lower back and presses me against him firmly, his lips stroking mine over and over.

With every kiss, every breath, I can feel what's going to happen. Don't ask me how or why, but I know. So when he lifts my nightgown over my head and throws it on the floor, I don't stop him.

When he gently picks up my almost naked body and sets it down on the bed, I don't stop him. I wouldn't dream of it at this point. All my life I told myself I was going to wait until senior prom...but when I'm with Jesse, it feels like I've never thought such a thing.

At this point, I don't even care that I have a loving boyfriend back home who doesn't have a clue that I've been cheating on him all summer or a step brother who would kill me if he found out. All of it seems...well, worth it because I have this incredible man, this incredible night, this incredible summer. I have Jesse.

"Querida," he whispers, his voice deep, as he sits up, pulling his shirt off over his head. I can see the sweat glistening off of his body too; it's just that type of night. The type that's so hot you can't find any solace from the heat, but at the same time it feels absolutely amazing.

I let out a small moan as he kisses me again, making my whole body tingle, from my head to my toes. Nothing has ever felt this amazing. Nothing ever WILL feel this amazing.

"Jesse...Jesse that feels so good," I moan, arching my body up towards him as he moves his lips down towards my breast.

Sounds I didn't even know I could make start emitting from my mouth as his lips work their amazing magic on my body.

Moan after moan after moan escapes from my lips as his work magic on my body, his skin scorching against mine.

The night that follows...well...it's the greatest night of my life. Full of unspoken secrets and little whispers. Full of touches and kisses and promises to love each other forever. There's some awkwardness but it's to be expected since we're both experiencing this for the first time, but it's simply wonderful. It's a night I will never forget.

Jesse and I were intimate in ways I've never experienced with anyone before, ways that I don't want to experience with anyone but him. He makes me feel whole...more whole than I've felt in a while.

"Susannah," Jesse whispers to me, stroking my hair softly.

"Hmm?" I reply, closing my eyes and breathing deeply, taking in his scent.

"...I don't want you to leave," he says almost silently.

"I don't want to leave either," I reply, kissing his chest gently.

"Then stay," he says, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "You can enroll in school here. Forget about Paul and just stay with me." He sounds almost like he's begging.

"I can forget about Paul easily...but my mother...I don't think she could bear to part with me. I'm her only daughter," I whisper.

"Then I'll come with you," he says and I look up at him, smiling.

"Do you really want to leave your family?" I ask him.

"I...I love them, but I can't let you go," Jesse says quietly.

"I wish you didn't have to," I reply, reaching up and stroking his cheek.

"We still have tomorrow," Jesse whispers halfheartedly, "and I promise to call you every night, and visit whenever possible."

"This summer went by too fast," I say, leaning in and kissing him softly before returning my head to his chest. "And to think, I wasted so much time hating you. Time that we could have spent together."

"Don't worry about that now...let's just focus on now. We love each other, and I'll always love you," Jesse whispers, softly kissing my head.

"Suze, come on, we have to get on the plane," David says to me. I look down to him and nod my head. "I'll be there in a minute," I tell him before turning to Jesse.

David nods his head and goes to give the lady his ticket, glancing back at me once before heading on the plane. I look up at Jesse, tears sparkling in my eyes as I lean up and kiss him softly, "I'll miss you...more than you can imagine," I whisper, stroking his cheek. We said most of our goodbyes earlier, knowing that it would be risky now, in front of my family.

"I'll be thinking of you every moment you're gone," he tells me, cupping my face in his hands and kissing me tenderly. "Every single moment." I have to resist the urge to take him in my arms, holding him and never letting go.

"Bye," I whisper, leaning up and kissing him one last time, before walking away, getting on the plane, and leaving St. Croix.

"Suze! Suze, over here!" Oh god. This is the moment I've been dreading: I have to face Paul.

A humongous smile lights up his face, and surprisingly, a smile forms on my face as well.

I run up to him and throw my arms around him as he whispers, "Oh my god, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," I whisper, tears filling my eyes as I think about Jesse.

He pulls back and kisses me passionately and a lump rises in my throat. Jesse...oh my god, how can I be doing this after what happened between Jesse and I just a couple days ago

"You must be exhausted," he whispers before embracing me tightly.

"Yeah, I am," I say, laughing a little and wrapping my arms around him. "But I believe I have a party to go to, don't I?"

"I believe you do," Paul whispers, kissing me softly.

I pull back after a moment and give him a small smile. "I just have to let my mom know I'm leaving with you," I tell him, pulling out of his embrace and walking over to my mom.

"Mom...I'm leaving with Paul, okay?" I say, and she gives me a look before nodding her head.

"Remember what we talked about, dear," she says, that look still in her eye. I nod my head before going back over to Paul just as my phone rings, letting me know I have a text message. I pull it out when Paul turns his head and smile. "Miss you already. Te amo," it says.

"Who's it from?" he asks as I delete it and put my phone back in my purse.

"Just...a friend I met in St. Croix," I tell him, still smiling as he puts his arm around me.

"Oh, well I'm glad you weren't completely miserable down there, I hate it when you aren't happy," Paul says.

"It would have been better if you had been there," I say, lying through my teeth. I hate this. I really do.

"We're together now, and we have 2 months to make up for," he says as we approach his shiny silver BMW convertible.

I give him a smile before getting in, settling back into familiarity. This is the life the Old Suze loved. This is the boy the Old Suze loved.

"You sure you're up to this party, Suze? You look pretty beat," Paul says softly.

Every part of me wants to say no, just wants to go home and sleep. Okay, not sleep, call Jesse but whatever. But the Old Suze would have partied no matter what. "Of course. I'm always up for a party," I reply.

"Good, I know the girls worked hard to make this the perfect party," Paul tells me.

"I'm sure they did," I say, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. We just stay quiet for a moment before he says to me, "You know, many people thought that the summer apart would destroy our relationship but I think it's made us stronger."

"Yeah?" I say, turning my head to face him as he looks over briefly at me before returning his attention to the road, "Yeah, I guess it has."

"What, you don't think it did?" he asks and I can hear the frown in his voice.

"Well, I can't really tell because I've only been here for like 15 minutes," I say, looking over at him.

"Well, I think it has," he says, smiling over at me and bringing my hand to his lips, kissing it softly.

I simply smile back at him before resting my head back against the headrest again, closing my eyes. We still have another 40 minutes or so until we're back in Carmel.

Most of those 40 minutes passes in silence. He asks me how it was in St. Croix and I just kind of shrug and say it was all right. I mean, what can I say? I met another guy and fell so in love he's all I can think about? That would be a fun conversation. Not.

"Suze...are you sure you're all right? You didn't get sun fever or anything did you?" Paul asks me as we pull up in front of his house.

"I'm fine," I tell him, giving him a small, tired smile. "I want to see everyone. If I'm not feeling up to it, I'll leave, okay?"

"Okay, let's head in," he says, getting out of the car and walking around to open the door for me.

The party is exactly like every other party Kelly and the girls have ever thrown: lot's of people and booze. I decline any drinks, though, saying that I'm really worn out.

The real truth is...I want to be able to remember every moment that I ever had with Jesse, and that night getting drunk is one of them, even if it didn't end the best way.

I end up leaving way early, promising the girls that I'll hang out with them tomorrow. Right now, I just want to go home, take a nice, long shower (or maybe even bubble bath) and call Jesse.

Paul gives me a ride home, seeming sorta quiet the whole way to my house, but of course he would be, I pretty much acted like a bitch tonight. I know I used to act like one, but it was a different type of bitch I guess.

"I'll call you tomorrow, all right?" I tell him as we sit outside my house in his car. He nods his head and leans across the console to kiss me.

"I'm so glad you're back, Suze," he says.

"I'm glad I'm back too, I missed you Paul," I say, stroking his cheek softly.

"I love you, Suze," he says, leaning in and kissing me again. "I really do."

"I know," I whisper, choking back the tears that seem to threaten me, "I love you too." There. That wasn't too hard...was it?


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Hey everyone

Author's Note: Hey everyone! Once again, sorry for the wait! Hope you enjoy )

**Chapter 9**

"You haven't even been gone a day but it feels like forever," Jesse says softly to me about an hour later when I call him after getting out of the shower.

"I know...I want to come back there so bad, Jesse...it's so hard lying to Paul, but I don't know how to end it without breaking his heart yet," I say softly, running a comb through my damp hair.

"You'll know," he says reassuringly. I wish I could be as confident as him. "God, it's so boring around here without you. I never thought I could miss you this much."

I chuckle softly as I slip under the covers in my bed, turning off my lamp and pressing the play button on my cd player, turning the music on low.

"I got a job today," he tells me and I can hear the smile in his voice. "And I'm saving up money so I can come and visit you. Just hearing your voice isn't enough."

"I wish you could live up here permanently...I'm guessing that after things end I'm not going to have very many friends anymore..." I say softly.

"They're your friends, querida," he says soothingly. "They'll be your friends no matter who you date."

"You don't' know them very well then...I wish I could count on them like that...but I really don't' think I can," I whisper.

"I hate hearing the sadness in your voice," he says softly and I close my eyes, wishing he could be here with me.

"Yeah, well I hate feeling sad like this," I whisper in reply, looking up at my ceiling.

"Listen, Susannah, I'll let you go...you sound tired," he says softly and I close my eyes, nodding my head before remembering he can't see me.

"Okay," I whisper, knowing it's later where he's at than it is here.

"I love you, Jesse," I say softly before hanging up and placing the phone on my bedside table.

I fall asleep not long after that and, just as when I was in St. Croix, Jesse fills my dreams.

--

"I'll see you in a few," Paul says before hanging up, and I sigh, walking into my bathroom to take a shower. It's about 1 in the afternoon and Paul called to say he was coming over, so I might as well get a shower out of the way.

I have to do it today. I can't NOT do it. I can't stay with him, not after my magical summer with Jesse. Sure, I'll be a total outcast...no friends...no life, but so what? I'll have Jesse's love and that's all I want.

I think about this, sighing, as I lather the shampoo into my hair, and then the conditioner, not wanting to see Paul just yet.

I take nearly an hour in the shower and when I get out, I feel clean and refreshed. I just hope Paul isn't here yet.

Uh oh, I guess he is here...and he looks just a little bit pissed off. As I step a little closer I realize why...he has the locket in his fingers.

"What the hell is this, Suze?" he asks angrily, getting up and walking quickly over to me.

"Uhm...well, it's a locket," I whisper.

"That has the words "Te amo, querida" on the back," he says, turning the locket around and shoving it in my face. "I know what this means, Suze. I take Spanish."

"Oh? Uhm...what's it mean?" I ask in a timid voice. I really don't know, well except for the te amo part.

"I love you, sweetheart," he tells me, his voice low and angry.

"Oh...is that what that means?" I say, a small, traitorous smile coming to my face.

"WHO GAVE THIS TO YOU!?" he shouts and I flinch, backing away from him.

"Uhm," I whisper. Well Suze, now's the time, do it, tell him.

"Well...I...met someone," I say quietly, looking down at my feet.

"You...what?" Paul asks, his voice so low I can barely hear it.

"I met someone," I say, my voice a little clearer, more confident. At least, I hope it is. "In St. Croix."

"Who?" Paul demands, looking completely outraged, but hurt also...so hurt.

"His name is Jesse," I tell him, my voice slowly losing confidence. I try not to smile as his name passes my lips, but I can't help it.

"Jesse? And what...I bet you were going to find a way to break up with me today, weren't you? So you could be with this...Jesse?" Paul demands.

"You don't understand, Paul!" I exclaim helplessly, still unable to look at him. "Enlighten me then, Suze," he says. "What exactly don't I understand?"

"I...god...I love him! I didn't expect to go to some island during the summer and to fall in love, but I did!" I cry.

"You love him?" he asks, his voice dripping with hurt. "You love him? More than you love me?"

"I didn't plan for any of this to happen," I whisper.

"So you're just...leaving me to be with him? Be with someone who lives on an island full of beautiful girls? Do you REALLY think he's going to stay faithful to you?" he asks angrily.

"You'll get to see him again...when, like next summer? Do you really think he can hold out that long?" Paul demands.

"Of course he will!" I exclaim confidently. "He LOVES me!"

"Love can only go so far before it's stretched its limits, Suze," Paul growls.

"And how would you know that, Paul?" I ask angrily. "You were here without me for two months. Was YOUR love stretched to its limits?"

"It wasn't easy, Suze!" Paul exclaims, "Do you know how many people decided they wanted to fuck me as soon as you left?"

"They had that decided long before I left, Paul," I tell him, rolling my eyes. "They just waited until I left to let you in on it."

"Yeah, well imagine if it were you. Do you think it would be easy?" Paul demands me.

I fall silent because, the truth of the matter is that my love WAS stretched to its limits the moment I met Jesse.

"Suze, don't be ridiculous. You and this 'Jesse', you guys will never last. It was a summer fling," Paul sneers.

"It was not!" I cry out, suppressing the urge to slap him in the face. "What Jesse and I have...it's...it's indescribable."

"SHUT UP!" I scream, slapping him across the face. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

"Why else do you think he went into the relationship? Because he knew it would only last 2 months! No fucking strings attached!" Paul shouts.

"Jesse isn't like that!" I yell, my hands balling into fists with anger. "You don't know him!"

"Jesse is a guy! I'm sorry Suze, but guys all think about it, no matter what you want to believe!" Paul exclaims.

"Sure he thinks about it, but he will NEVER act on it!" I scream. "He would never EVER hurt me!"

"Just like I thought you would never, ever hurt me?" Paul cries.

I open and close my mouth several times before sighing, lowering my voice. "Look, Paul, you don't know how sorry I am," I reply. "I didn't mean for it to happen. But it did. And nothing I do will change that. In fact...I'm not so sure I would if I could."

"Fine, whatever Suze...but don't come crying to me when he breaks it off because he's bored, or he's decided to hook up with an ex who's there when you're not," Paul sneers.

I stay quiet for a moment as Maria's face floats into my head and he continues, "Long distance relationships never work. Never. I mean...look what happened to us."

"I...I..." I say softly, my confidence slowly ebbing away.

He reaches for my hand and places the locket in it. "Think about what I said, Suze," he says. "No matter how much you don't want to admit it, I'm right and you know I am."

"I...I'll see you later Paul," I murmur.

"Goodbye, Suze," he says, leaving and closing the door softly behind him. As soon as he's gone, I sink to my knees, finally letting my tears loose.

Could what Paul said be true? Could that happen with Jesse and me?

No, it couldn't...it couldn't possibly...he's full of shit, that's what he is. He doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

...But then again...if I knew he was bullshitting it...why am I doubting Jesse...why is there this nagging voice in my head?

I quickly wipe my tears and reach for my phone. I'll just call him...I'll just...dammit, why won't my hands stop shaking?

"Why throw away something that you have right now that's pretty damn good, Suze? Why are you being so stupid?" the voice is saying to me.

"Because I love Jesse," I whisper to myself, looking down at the phone though my vision is blurred by tears.

"But does he love you just as much? Or does he just love the sex?" The voice taunts.

"Stop it!" I exclaim softly, closing my eyes and shaking my head. "He told me he loved me long before we...made love."

"He was trying to get in your pants even then, remember?" it sneers.

I cover my face with my hands and shake my head. "No," I mumble, my voice coming out as a choked whisper.

"Yes. It's true, you know it's true. You're a slut. You threw your virginity away when Paul's still waiting faithfully for you," The voice says in a voice full of acid.

"STOP IT!" I yell, covering my ears and shaking my head. "YOU'RE WRONG!"

As if on cue, my phone starts to ring, and I reach over blindly, picking it up and looking at the caller-ID.

I quickly wipe my tears away and take a few deep breaths before answering. "Hey, Jesse," I whisper.

"Hey querida...are you all right?" Jesse asks me, his voice sounding concerned.

"I...I don't know," I admit, wishing I hadn't. "I just...don't know."

"Tell me, querida...you know you can tell me anything," Jesse says softly.

I let out a shattered breath before saying, "I...don't know if this will work out. You. Me. Us."

"What? Of course it will, Susannah...I know it might be a little hard, but I swear I'll do everything I can to keep as close contact with you as possible," Jesse says.

I clear my throat and shake my head. "No, Jesse. It won't," I say, my voice a little bit more confident, though on the inside I feel the exact opposite.

"We have to face reality, Jesse," I say, closing my eyes and staying silent for a moment before continuing. "Truth is...I have a perfect life here and...I don't want to throw it away on a summer fling. A long distance relationship that will never work out." God, this is killing me.

"Susannah..." he tries weakly, but I cut him off once again.

"No, Jesse, just don't," I tell him. Before I can say anything else, he asks, "What did Paul say to you??"

"Paul has nothing to do with this! Anything he said to me only showed me that I'm being a stupid fool, Jesse! I'm sorry, but it's over. Just...it's over. Please don't call me ever again, don't try and contact me. I just...I love Paul more, plain and simple," I exclaim, silent tears pouring out of my eyes.

I hear silence on his end before he starts to talk, his voice shaking, "Please, querida, you are making a mistake. I love you so much, more than Paul ever could. What we had was real and you know it. It wasn't just some summer fling that you'll look back on and laugh about. It was real. It was more real than anything I ever felt and I know you felt it too. You can't think about the summer and tell me you don't love me, that everything you said was a lie. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Susannah and the summer we shared was the greatest summer of my life. I love you. Don't do this."

Fuck! Why did he have to say that! A small sob escapes my mouth and I clap my hand over it immediately, trying to squeeze all of the tears out of my eyes.

"Susannah?" Jesse asks in a quiet voice as I try to get my tears under control.

When I finally do, I whisper, "Goodbye, Jesse," before hanging up, throwing my phone across the room as if it were on fire.

To my utter delight, I see the battery pop out...so now at least he won't be able to call me back until I decide to put the battery back in.

How could I do that? How could I rip his heart out and stomp on it like that. Every single word I said to him was a lie.

I lean my head back against my bed and let all of my tears flow out...but I know that I'll always have more...I'll always have more tears when I think about what I did to him. But he'll forget about me...over time he will. He'll meet someone new, someone fantastic...and he'll move on.

Just like I have to. I have to do this, get over him. It was a summer fling, that's all. But no matter how many times I tell myself that, it'll never be true.

--

October

"Come on, Suze," Paul says, putting his arm around my waist. I give him a small smile before pulling my hair up.

"Give me a minute, geeze!" I exclaim, laughing before walking out of my room with him, down the stairs and outside where Kelly, Debbie, Heather, Tad, Bryce, and Brad are waiting for us.

"There you are!" Kelly exclaims, running up to me and kissing my cheek, "Now...we know you hate anybody making a big fuss over your birthday...but well, we couldn't stop ourselves!"

"Oh my god, no!" I exclaim, laughing a little nervously and looking at Paul who just grins and shrugs his shoulders. "You guys!!"

"Sorry Suze, but we had to! You're 18 next week!" Debbie exclaims.

I just roll my eyes and follow Paul over to his car. "I hate you guys, I really do," I call back to them.

"We love you Suze!" They all exclaim and I chuckle softly before getting into the car.

"You knew about this, didn't you?" I ask, glaring at him though a smile plays at my lips.

"Of course I did, I helped plan it," he says, leaning over and kissing me. I kiss him back softly, routinely.

Routine. That's what my life has become, one big routine. One big show. I feel like I should put posters up around town and sell tickets: Come see this miserable teenage girl break her heart every single day as she lives without the one she loves!

Most of the time I can do it fine, like kissing Paul, that's pretty easy, I just do it. But when I have to do things that I used to do...pick on people, go further with Paul than just kissing...that's that hard part.

Every step I take, every move I make, I think of what Jesse would say if he were here. Of course, if he were here, I wouldn't be living this torture.

He tried to call me, he left me message after message the first few weeks. At first there were so many, sometimes up to 20, but then he slowly started leaving them less and less until he just didn't call anymore.

Things got worse after he stopped. Sometimes, his messages were the only good things about my day. I would listen to them over and over again until my voice mailbox got full and I had to delete them. I kept the last one, though. I'll never delete that one.

"Susannah..." his voice, his beautiful husky voice, said, and I could tell he was on the verge of tears, "This is the last message I'm going to leave you. Please...if you feel any of the love that we shared during the time we were together in St. Croix...call me back, call me back so I can breathe...so I can live again. If you don't though, I'm s...I'm sorry that I've been bothering you, I just...I thought we had something, something pure, something that you don't stumble across everyday. I love you Susannah Simon...I love you querida, never forget that. I love you, and only you. Please...if you...please call me back Susannah. I love you."

I know, right? I'm the coldest person in the world. I'm next in line for eternal damnation. I should be shot for not calling him back. Okay, that's a lie, I did call him back but I hung up before he could even guess who it was.

And now that's all that I have left of Jesse...I don't even have a picture of him, of us.

I look down at my hands and let out a small sigh when Paul says, "Are you okay, Suze? You should be happy. The girls are throwing you a party."

"I know...but you know I hate birthday parties," I say softly.

"Come on, it'll be fun," he says, smiling and stopping at a red light, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I knowww, just...it's not going to be a...humongous party, is it?" I ask him warily.

The light turns green and he smiles over at me. "You know those girls," he says and I groan.

"Great," I mutter under my breath, leaning my head back against the headrest once again and pulling out my phone to see if by some chance, I had a missed call.

"Huh, I have a voicemail," I say to myself, pushing the dial button and holding the phone up to my ear, hearing a girl's angry voice. It must be one of Jesse's sisters.

I slowly hang up a minute later when it's done. It was from Mercedes...she basically just screamed the whole time that I needed to make things right, that I needed to make things right so that her brother would be her brother again.

I close my eyes and swallow the lump that rises in my throat as Paul asks, "Who was it from?"

"It's from one of my friends from St. Croix...her name was Mercedes...I haven't heard from her since I left, so it's sort of a surprise," I say.

"Wow. What did she want after all this time?" he asks and I shrug. "Just to say hi, see how I'm doing," I tell him, lying through my teeth.

"That's cool," he says and I nod my head wordlessly.

"Where are we going anyway?" I ask, glancing out the window before turning back to him.

"You'll see," Paul says, and I look over to see him grinning.

"I hate surprises," I mumble, folding my arms over my chest before looking back out the window. Thanks to Mercedes' message I'll be in a less-than-perky mood tonight. I totally deserved it, though.

"Heeere we are," Paul announces, pulling up in front of some random building. I roll my eyes to myself before getting out of the car, mentally preparing myself for whatever they have in store.

--

November

"Guess who!" comes Paul's voice in my ear as his hands cover my eyes, making me squeal in surprise.

"Paul! Don't scare me like that," I say as he sits down next to me at the lunch table.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist," he says, grinning and kissing me on the cheek. I roll my eyes but still smile at him. "Yeah, yeah whatever," I reply.

I wasn't aware of the eyes on me then...the eyes that lit up as they saw me, only to have the fire in them completely extinguished as Paul came up behind me. If I had known...my god...if I had known I would have done anything to be somewhere else at that moment, somewhere where I could see him.

But I didn't see him. My only clue that he was even there would be an orchid on my porch step that I find after school. But by then...it's too late.

I say goodbye to Paul and slowly walk up the pathway, my brow furrowing as I see it lying there, next to the potted plant. My blood freezes as I lean down and pick it up, fingering it's soft petals as I look around in alarm. He hadn't been here too long ago...maybe I could still call him...maybe he was still here; the airport was an hour away after all. I look down at the flower and see the words written neatly across the petals, "You looked so beautiful, querida..."

As soon as Paul pulls away, I grab my cell phone, dialing Jesse's number from memory and pressing the phone against my ear, praying for him to pick up.

It rings, and rings, and rings...and rings. Over and over I call him...over and over I pray that I'm not too late. Finally, after calling him desperately at least 15 times...he picks up.

"Now you know how I felt," he says in a low voice that's filled with hurt and anger. But strangely enough, I don't care because I'm actually hearing his voice again.

"Jesse...Jesse, I," I stutter out, wishing that I had some big speech planned out right now.

"I really hope you're happy, Susannah," he says in that same hurt tone of voice. "I hope he gives you the happiness that I couldn't. I won't bother you anymore. Goodbye."

Before I can say anything else he hangs up, and when I try calling back, his phone is turned off. I can't even try anymore.

I take in a few deep breaths before the tears fall as I knew they would. Before anyone can see me, I run into the house and up to my room, locking myself in, shutting myself off from the rest of the world.

How...How could I do this to him? Over and over and over I keep hurting him...over and over again.

As much as this is hurting me, I know it's hurting him even more. I should just stop all this hurt. I should have never even left him in the first place!

Sniffing softly I pick up my phone and dial Paul's number, drying my eyes on my shirt as I wait for him to pick up.

"Hey, baby," he says sounding mildly surprised. I haven't really called just to talk to him in months. "What's up?"

"Paul...I really hate to do this over the phone...but it's over. I can't be with you anymore...I've tried, I really have, but I just don't love you anymore. This has nothing to do with Jesse...I haven't spoken to him since I left the island," I know I'm lying about that...but it's basically true.

He lets out a long sigh before speaking, "I can't really say that I'm surprised. You...changed when you went away to St. Croix."

"I know Paul...I know and I'm sorry. If it were up to me I would have never met Jesse, I was perfectly happy with you and our relationship before I left, I really was, but I can't change what happened," I say.

"Well, I guess you're right," he says softly. "I guess this is goodbye then, Suze." I sigh and nod my head before remembering he can't see me. "Yeah. Goodbye, Paul," I whisper in reply.

I hang up the phone, and close my eyes, surprising I don't feel the remorse that I thought I would after this happened...hey, maybe he'll even be civil towards me at school...maybe my friends won't disown me after all.

--

Wrong. So, so, so wrong. I have to walk to school the next day because Kelly never showed up to give me a ride. At lunch, I have to sit by myself under a tree far from the rest of the tables because everywhere I went, people's eyes were glaring at me. Paul's the most popular guy in school after all. You break his heart, everyone hates you.

As soon as I got home that day, I went into my bedroom and took out the pair of scissors that I keep in my vanity. I decide that I'm long overdue for some change.

Now, let me introduce you to...well, my hair. It's pretty long. Really long, actually. It flows all the way down my back and it's a perfect chestnut color. Well, that's all going to change.

I slowly take the scissors and chop off my hair, slowly at first, but then with increasing speed and anger until my curly hair is at my shoulders.

I just stare at my reflection in the mirror and...slowly smile. Wow. It actually looks GOOD.

Granted, the edges aren't even at all, but it feels...refreshing. Yes, that's the word. Refreshing, not to have all that hair piling me down. Next I step into my closet and stare around.

I walk up to each and every skirt, shirt, pair of shoes, pair of pants and chuckle softly to myself. Some of this stuff still has the tags on it. Never worn. I probably have enough clothes in there to clothe a small country.

I take everything out, everything that I had never worn, would never wear again. All of the pink, girly, flowery clothes that I bought just because my friends bought them too. I take them all out and put them in a big black bag before throwing them out of my room.

Going back into my room, I realize that was about half my closet but I don't care. I feel so liberated, so free. Now I can just wear...well, whatever the hell I want!

Unfortunately...as I try to figure out what I'm going to wear tomorrow...I realize most of the clothes I have left don't match, or won't fit. Sighing, I go downstairs and over to my mom, "Mom...I'm sorta going through a transition...and it involves me throwing away...I mean giving away all of my old clothes...but I sorta need some new ones now..." I say.

She seems stunned into silence, not speaking for several moments. When she does finally speak, she says, "My god, Susie...what did you do to your hair??"

"I...I cut it...does it look horrible?" I ask meekly.

"No, it's just...different," she says, slowly smiling at me. She knows what this is about. She's my mother, she just...knows.

"Here...you can have my debit card, try not to go too crazy though, and be back before 11," mom says before kissing my head.

"Thanks, mom," I reply, leaning forward and hugging her tightly before hurrying outside to the car.

It's about a half an hour drive before I reach the mall, and I head immediately to a few stores that I know I can get safe things at, namely J Crew and Ralph Lauren. I may not like the pink girly stuff anymore, but I still like to dress nicely. Maybe I'll wear more green...Jesse always said he loved green on me best.

My fingers brush against the soft fabric of a green blouse and tears fill my eyes. Jesse would have loved this.

I immediately take it off the rack and put it over my arm, along with a couple of tan and black skirts, a couple of cute sweater sets, a new coat, and a pair of sandals.

I spend about three hours at the mall, barely making it home in time for dinner. When I get there, though, I wish I could just leave. Brad is just...well, let's say he isn't a big fan of mine at all anymore.

I just stare down at my hands, barely touching my food. If I pick up my fork, I'll probably stab him in the eye with it.

By the time dinner's done, Brad's earned himself a month of grounding...just something else for him to hate me for.

"I'll get you for this you little slut," he growls to me as he gets up from the table.

"Make that two months!" Andy nearly shouts.

"Don't listen to him, Suze...it's none of his business, really," Andy says to me softly.

"Thanks, Andy," I reply, smiling a little. I've actually grown to...well, tolerate Andy. He really isn't all that bad.

I go quietly up to my room, sighing as I begin to unpack all of my clothes, hanging them up in place of the old clothes, which I noticed my mom took away while I was gone.

"How are you feeling?" I hear my mom's voice behind me and I sigh, turning around to face her.

"Not good," I admit, hanging up my last blouse as I exit the closet.

She sits down on my bed and pats the spot next to her. "Come here, honey," she says softly.

I do as she asks, putting my head against her shoulder as she wraps her arms around me, "I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through right now...but I know it's hard. I also know that you're strong, honey. I know you can pull through this," mom says.

"I really miss him," I say softly, closing my eyes and sighing. "But I know that I screwed it up permanently. And all the stuff going on at school doesn't make anything easier."

"You've tried calling Jesse?" Mom asks me and I nod my head slowly.

"Yeah," I tell her. "He left me so many messages back in August until one day he just stopped. And then he showed up here just a few days ago."

"He did?" she asks, sounding surprised.

"Yeah. I didn't see him though," I reply. "He must have seen me with Paul though because all he did was leave an orchid on the porch. And when I called him he..."

"Shh...shhh, it's okay Susie...he'll come around if he loves you as much as I'm sure he does," mom says softly.

"I really hope so," I say, blinking back the few tears that have gathered in my eyes. "It's funny," I continue, laughing a little. "This is the first time in years I haven't had plans on Friday night."

"Enjoy it honey...trust me, there will be plenty of nights when you are glad that you don't have to go out," mom says, chuckling.

I laugh a little more before sitting up straight. "I'm gonna go take a shower, mom," I tell her.

"Okay sweetie. Try to get some sleep...things will get better," she says, smiling at me and kissing my forehead softly before leaving.

--

Okay, I am NOT sitting on the ground today. I'll just find a table and sit there and if people don't like it, they can just deal. Besides, I don't think anybody recognizes me with my new hair.

"Wow," I hear Kelly say from behind me and I roll my eyes, turning to face her. I will NOT let her and her little minions get me down today. "What happened to your hair, Suze? Did you get into a fight with a lawn mower and lose?"

"You know what you can do with your comments Kelly? You can--" I start to say, but I'm cut off when suddenly I hear someone say something from behind me.

"Why don't you guys leave her alone?" I whip my head around and see Cee Cee Webb and Adam McTavish standing behind me. "Yeah, piss off," Adam says.

"Awww, look. The geeks are sticking up for her now. How sweet. Have a nice lunch Suze," Kelly says, giving me one final look before leaving. It's funny...but for a second I thought I saw some sort of apology in her eyes.

"You really didn't have to do that," I say to them, sitting down across from them.

"We've never been one for bullying," Adam says and I immediately feel like crap.

I look down at my hands and mumble, "Yeah...uhm..."

"It's okay...we forgive you," Cee Cee says and I look up at them, smiling gratefully.

"God...I was a bitch, wasn't I?" I ask, laughing nervously. Adam just kind of shrugged. "Not as much as this one," he says, motioning over to Cee Cee who hits him in the arm. I feel a lump rise in my throat as I look at them. She's looking at him the way I look at Jesse.

The rest of lunch goes by pretty uneventfully, but by the end of it, I come to think of Adam and Cee Cee as friends.

As I walk to my next class with Cee Cee (we have the same class which I never noticed before), I smile at her and say, "So what's going on between you two?"

"Well, I'm hopelessly in love with him...and he's my best friend," she says, frowning.

"Ask him to prom," I tell her, smiling as we walk into Mr. Walden's class. "What's the worse that could happen?"

"Uhm, he could say no and our friendship could be ruined forever," Cee Cee says, laughing nervously.

I just shake my head and take my seat beside her. "Nah, I bet he feels the same way about you," I reply.

"I bet he doesn't," Cee Cee says, rolling her eyes at me.

"I know a thing or two about these things," I tell her, smiling a little, thinking of Jesse.

"Whatever you say," Cee Cee says before sitting down in her normal seat, a couple rows away from mine. Thank god most of my classes are alphabetic seating...except for the fact that it means Paul has to sit by me in the 2 he has with me...but I'll get to those when I get to them.

The rest of the day goes by better than I expected. Adam even offers to give me a ride home. It's while we're in the car that I realize that these are the first REAL friends I've ever had.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Heyyy all sorry for the long delay! There was a lot going on with graduation and such, but it's here finally! The very last chapter of Breathe! We really appreciate all of you that have read and reviewed our story, and we hope that you have liked it as much as we have loved writing it!

Chapter 10

"I'm taking you dress shopping whether you like it or not," Cee Cee says from my bedroom door. It's mid May right now, and prom is in a couple of weeks.

"No, Cee," I reply, folding my arms over my chest and shaking my head. "I have no one to go with, I'm the school slut, remember?"

"You can go with me and Adam. Or if you don't' want to do that, I'll find you a date from 2 states over if I have to!" Cee Cee exclaims.

"It's probably spread all the way to New York by now," I say glumly, staring out the window and sighing.

"Oh, you're just paranoid," she says, rolling her eyes.

I don't reply, just turn around to face her. She sighs and walks over to me. "Just come with me, Suze. Please?" she says.

"Fine...but even if I get a dress...I'm not coming," I say, crossing my arms and giving her a look before following her out to her car.

"Yay!" Cee Cee exclaims and I roll my eyes though a smile slips through. "Come on, Suze! You've got to stop moping, have fun!" I laugh a little at this. "Easier said than done, Cee," I tell her.

"No it's not, you're just very stubborn," Cee Cee says, pulling out of the driveway and making her way to the mall.

"Well, you should know that by now," I say, still laughing. Since meeting Cee Cee and Adam, my life has definitely taken a turn for the better.

Half an hour later we've pulled up in front of the mall and Cee Cee drags me into a dress shop, holding dress after dress up to me.

I basically do what is required of the best friend: smile, nod, tell her she looks great. I do this for about an hour until the most amazing dress catches my eye.

"Suze...do I see you eyeing a dress?" Cee Cee asks me, neatly folding the dress she's going to get over her arm. Oh yeah I forgot, she finally asked Adam to prom.

And of course, like I predicted, he said yes. Believe me, I was "I told you so"-ing her for two weeks. They really are perfect for each other.

I smile sheepishly over at Cee Cee before walking over to the dress rack to the dress I saw...I have no clue how I overlooked it before.

"God, that is a beautiful dress," Cee Cee says softly as I run my hand over the fabric.

"It is...but it probably won't look right on me," I say immediately, trying to put it back.

"Are you kidding me? It was handmade for you, Suze," she says, pushing the dress back into my hands. "We're buying it."

"I haven't even tried it on yet!" I exclaim.



"Well, go try it on," she says, pushing me into a dressing room and closing the door.

I sigh and lock the door, slowly pulling off my street clothes and pulling the dress up my body. I really don't want to be doing this...there are too many memories.

For one, I always thought I'd be going to prom with Paul. I imagined picking out the perfect dress with Heather and Kelly and Debbie and...well, losing my virginity to Paul on prom night. But of course, things have changed. There's that and the fact that the dress is a brilliant green, the same color as my eyes.

Jesse...he would have gone crazy over this dress. He would have insisted that I buy it. This brings tears to my eyes briefly and I quickly swipe them away.

"Come on, Suze, we don't have all day!" Cee Cee exclaims jokingly from outside the door. I zip the dress about halfway by myself and look at myself in the mirror. Cee Cee was right: this dress was handmade for me.

It reminds me so much of gowns that they used to wear in those Pride and Prejudice movies, empire-waisted with sheer cap sleeves and a sheer sparkly green layer on top of the silky emerald under layer of the dress. It makes me feel like a princess.

I can almost hear Jesse's voice in my head: "When you wear this dress, even the angels envy your beauty, querida." This, of course, only makes me miss him more.

"Are you going to come out Suze?" Cee Cee asks and I sigh before walking out of the room, giving her a small smile.

A high pitched squeal comes out of her mouth, followed by a whole bunch of incomprehensible babble. After a moment, she calms down and I laugh. "I guess you like the dress?" I ask.

"Yes. And if you don't buy it I'm going to start crying and I'll refuse to go to prom at all!" She exclaims.

I just laugh again and go change out of the dress and buy it, even though I know I'm never going to get to use it. When I say this to Cee Cee she just smiles. "You never know, Suze," she says mysteriously. "Maybe you will."

Tonight's prom night...a day that should be one of the happiest and most looked forward to days of my life...but right now I'm sitting on my window seat staring out at the gloom as the sky empties itself on Carmel.

Not that Cee Cee didn't try to get me out. She did. She even booked me a hair and nail appointment but all I did all day was sit inside and watch Titanic over and over and over again. And of course, ate chocolates. Yes, I'm having a pity party.

I close my eyes and lean my cheek against the cool glass of my window, trying to let the sound of the rain calm me down, but it doesn't.

Nothing can calm me down. I've been crying off and on all day. And you would think that with all the talk of prom, I would be thinking of Paul since we were supposed to go together, but I'm not. I'm thinking of the dress I bought and I'm thinking of Jesse.

It's hanging up over by my vanity and I'm half tempted to throw it out the window so I won't have to look at it anymore.

No one's bothered me all day and I'm thankful for that. I didn't even go downstairs for dinner. Mom brought it up for me along with some more chocolate to fuel my little pity party. I'm so thankful for a mom who actually understands me.



I open my eyes briefly, but only more tears come out, so I give up on that idea and close them again, sniffing softly as I hear a knock at my bedroom door. Well there goes the no disturbance thing.

"Go away!" I exclaim, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my forehead against them. Whoever it is pays no attention because I hear the door open. "I said go away!" I cry out, not looking up.

"I've stayed away for too long..." A soft voice says and my head whips up automatically...barely daring to believe what I want to believe.

I think my heart has stopped. I'm dead. That is the only explanation. Either that or I'm dreaming because there is no way that Jesse is here in my bedroom.

"Y...You came..." I whisper, blinking my eyes slowly as my legs suddenly find strength and I stand up.

"How...how could I stay away?" he asks, his voice hoarse and barely audible. He slowly walks toward me until we're almost touching.

"Jesse...I thought you hated me," I whisper, looking down at the ground as a few tears fall from my eyes, "after what happened in November..."

He gently tilts my chin up so that he can look into my eyes. "I could never, ever hate you," he says softly. "Not even if I tried."

"You should. You should after the way I've treated you. I said some...some awful things, Jesse, things that I didn't mean, things that I could never mean," I say quickly.

"I know," he whispers, wiping away my tears. "I know." He cups my face with his hands and just gazes into my eyes...those sweet brown eyes that I thought I'd never see again.

I gaze up into those eyes as he slowly leans in towards me, stopping as our noses graze against each other, "Now I'm doing what I should have done in November," he whispers before going in the rest of the way.

To say that my heart nearly exploded with happiness would be an understatement. I can't even describe to you what it felt like to have Jesse kiss me again. It felt like...heaven.

I had nearly forgotten what his lips felt like against mine, but now as he moved them so softly against my own, I knew I would never forget again. Not his lips, not now that I remembered.

As I fall against him, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer. "I'm never letting you go again, querida," he mumbles against my lips.

"Good, because I'm not letting you," I whisper back before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

"God, I can't believe that you're here...you're actually here!" I cry out, tears of sheer joy filling my eyes to the brim. "Ever since November, I'd given up hope of ever seeing you again but now...you're here! You...you're here." The tears spill over and fall down my cheeks but don't get very far because Jesse kisses them away.

"I know...I know, don't worry, I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon," Jesse whispers, kissing my forehead.

"You better," I sob, seeming unable to stop the tears. "I'm sorry; I just can't seem to stop."

"It's all right, querida," he says softly, embracing me tenderly.

I hold him close, afraid that if I let go, he'll disappear or I'll wake up to another day in this hell that I've been living.

"Jesse?" I whisper softly, my fingers tracing the contours of his chest through his shirt.



"Yes, Susannah?" he replies, his fingers gently stroking my hair, making me so deliriously happy that I almost forget what I was planning to ask him.

"Make love to me, Jesse," I whisper.

He looks down at me, his gaze so intense it nearly makes me weak in the knees. "You...you..." he whispers, seeming unable to find the words. "You don't know how long I've dreamed of you saying that."

"I'm saying it now, so what are you gonna do about it?" I ask, feeling suddenly bold.

He doesn't say anything, just leans down and kisses me fiercely and in that kiss holds the promise that we'll never be apart, that everything will be all right. I have Jesse now. How could it not?

"That was nice," I say, giggling as I rest my head on Jesse's chest afterwards, gently stroking the hair on it.

"It was wonderful," he replies, kissing the top of my head softly before sighing. Suddenly, he starts chuckling. "Can you feel that, querida?" he whispers.

"Feel what?" I ask, lifting my head to look up at him.

He takes a deep breath before letting it out and smiling. "I can breathe again," he says softly.

My breath hitches as he says this and I lean up, kissing him softly before returning my head to his chest, "Querida, I can breathe again...I can live again, my heart's beating again...granted it's beating a little fast right now, but that's to be expected," he says.

"I can live again..." he repeats, kissing the top of my head again. "Because you love me again." I look up at him and stare at him incredulously.

"Again? Jesse, I never stopped," I tell him.

"I didn't know that at the time," he says, sighing softly and moving his hand down to mine, twining his fingers with my own.

He looks down at our hands and sighs again. "Jesse, what is it?" I ask softly.

"I have something to confess, querida," he says to me softly.

"What?" I ask, my heart dropping immediately.

"Back in November...when I got home...Maria and I..." he trails off, not meeting my eyes.

"Oh..." I whisper, pausing before resting my head back on his chest.

"We kissed," he tells me, his hands stroking my hair, trying to be comforting. "And it got...well, pretty heated..."

"I understand Jesse...you don't have to go into details," I say quickly.

"We didn't...have sex," he says slowly. "We almost did but then I remembered you and the summer when you said you only wanted to do it once to make it even more special and...I couldn't go through with it."

I blink and nod my head slowly, not wanting to cry. That's the last thing I want to do right now.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I felt...so ashamed. I still do." I look up at him and shake my head. "Don't, Jesse," I reply.

He gives me a small smile before leaning down and meeting my lips halfway, giving me a slow, sensual kiss that leaves me panting and wanting more.

He has the same look in his eyes but he doesn't do anything about it. "So, tonight is your 

prom," he says and I open my mouth, about to ask how he knew but he supplies the answer: "Cee Cee told me. She's the one who called and convinced me to come here."

"Oh my god...I owe her so, so, bad," I say, chuckling.

He laughs and leans down to kiss my forehead. "She also told me you bought a dress," he says and I nod my head. "Well then, we wouldn't want my tickets to go to waste now would we?"

I grumble a response and he chuckles, sitting up and pulling me up with him, "My hair looks awful, I'm all sweaty...there's no way I'm going to prom like this," I say to him.

"Well, you look beautiful to me but...others might not agree," he says, laughing a little. "So take a shower. It doesn't end until 11 and it's only 8:30." He takes both my hands in his and kisses them softly. "I want to share this with you, querida."

I sigh and roll my eyes before nodding my head and starting to get out of bed, but Jesse won't let go of me.

"Jesse, in order for me to take a shower, you have to let go of me," I say, smiling a little, not really liking the idea of being out of Jesse's arms.

"There's no way that I'm letting go of you for even a second," he whispers before picking me up in his strong arms and carrying me into the bathroom.

I let out a sigh and smile at him, kissing his cheek softly. "I love you, Jesse," I tell him.

"I love you too, Susannah," he whispers, placing a kiss underneath my jaw softly before stepping into the shower, "shower, or bath?"

"Hmmm," I say, thinking for a moment before replying, "Bath. More relaxing."

"Bath it is then," he says, setting me down on the edge of the tub before starting to fill the bath with warm water.

As we wait for the tub to fill, he kisses me tenderly. Things get a little intense and...well, I end up falling backward into the tub which is halfway full by now

I giggle and pull him in also, water sloshing all over the place as he lands in the tub.

He chuckles and starts kissing me passionately, reaching to turn off the water before wrapping his arms around me.

"You feel good wet," I whisper against his lips and I can feel his forming a smile.

"As do you," he replies, laughing before kissing me over and over again.

"Mmmm, we aren't getting any cleaner," I moan as his hand slips down to my breast.

He abruptly pulls away and smiles down at me. "You're right," he says, kissing me quickly before reaching for the shampoo.

He moves so that he's behind me and he pulls me in between his legs, wetting my hair the rest of the way before lathering some shampoo in.

I just lean my head back and close my eyes, loving the feeling of his fingers in my hair. "Mmm, that feels good," I whisper.

He kisses my shoulder softly in response as his fingers massage the shampoo in until he's finished, and then he takes a cup that was sitting on the floor and he's uses it to rinse my hair.

He does the same with the conditioner before taking my body wash and sponge and lathering my body up, making me tingle all over.

I hear him chuckle a few times when he notices the goose bumps rise up on my body, but he doesn't say anything about it.

Finally, we're done and he gets out of the tub, pulling me out with him before reaching for a towel and wrapping it around my body.

"Now I have to dry and try to style my hair, and then I have to do my makeup," I tell him.



"Well, Cee Cee let me borrow her brother's tux so, I'll go get it," he says, pausing for a moment before lifting me into his arms. "And you're coming with me."

I squeal out in surprise as he leans down, kissing me softly before walking us both into my bedroom and over to a bag which holds his tux.

"I can't believe Cee Cee called you," I say as he sets me down on the bed. I bite my lip, not saying anymore. If she hadn't called...would Jesse have even attempted to make things right?

"I was a bit surprised myself, to tell you the truth," he admits, leaning down and pressing a kiss on my forehead before slipping on his boxer briefs.

"But I'm glad she did," he continues, smiling over at me. I laugh a little and nod my head. "Yeah, me too," I reply.

"She pretty much begged me, she said that it would be all my fault if I didn't come and she couldn't go to her prom, I found that amusing, you have to introduce me to her tonight at some point," Jesse says, and by now he already has on his tuxedo jacket and he's tying the bow.

I laugh a little and stand up. "Wow, that sounds like Cee Cee," I say, walking over to him and kissing him softly. "She'll probably come running up to us as soon as we walk in the door."

He chuckles and leans down, kissing me again and again before I pull away, smirking at him, "I still have to get ready mister," I say.

"Yes, I suppose you do," he replies, smiling and kissing me, still not letting me go.

"I really, really have to get ready if we're going to go to prom," I whisper.

He nods his head before kissing me one more time. "Okay, go get ready," he says softly, still smiling.

"You come with me," I say, pouting and holding my hand out for him to take.

He takes my hand without another word and I lead him over to the closet, grabbing my dress. We get distracted many, many...many times while I get ready but we still manage to make it out in a decent amount of time.

"Are you ready for this, Jesse?" I ask softly, squeezing his hand as he parks the car in front of the hotel.

"Of course," he says, bringing my hand up to his lips and kissing it softly. "I'm with you. I'm ready for anything."

I blush softly and he leans down, his hand resting on my cheek as he kisses me slowly and passionately.

A sigh falls from my parted lips as he pulls back and I smile. He smiles back and kisses me quickly before getting out and hurrying over to my side, opening the door.

"Thank you," I say, smiling at him and twining his fingers with mine, leading him anxiously to the front door.

As soon as we walk in, I spot Cee Cee and Adam on the dance floor and point them out to Jesse. After a moment, Cee Cee catches my eye and her whole face lights up.

"Oh my god! You're here!" she shrieks, dragging Adam along behind her and up to me.

I hug her tightly and whisper, "Thank you so much." She pulls back and blushes a little. "I take it he told you then?" she asks.

"Of course he told me," I say, smiling at her before hugging her again, "Cee Cee, this is Jesse, Jesse this is Cee Cee, and that's Adam behind her."

As Cee Cee starts talking to Jesse I let my eyes wander over the room and regret it almost immediately: Paul's here with some new girl and he's spotted me too.

I see him eyeing Jesse and it makes me smile to myself, knowing that Paul is absolutely 

no match to Jesse in any compartment.

"Is that him, querida?" Jesse asks softly, his hand finding mine. I look up at him and sigh, nodding my head.

"Don't pay any attention to him, just forget that he's even here," Jesse says softly, pulling me close to him as a slow song starts.

He pulls me out onto the dance floor and we start swaying to the beat of the music. It feels so good just to be here in his arms, I can't even describe it.

In that moment I had no regrets. I was simply…happy. Happy and in love truly for the very first time. Right here in Jesse's arms was the only place I would ever want to be for the rest of my life.


End file.
